Little Problems
by Akira1
Summary: Tsuzuki has some problems . . .
1. Problems with the Plummbing

Problems with the Plumbing

"I'm sorry, but it seems that my wife has a flu and won't be able to cook dinner for us tonight." The old man apologized.

Tsuzuki pouted, looking like he was about to cry. His landlady was a rather good cook, and thanks to _the arrangement, had cooked for the three of them for the past few years. It was then that he got an idea._

"I know!" He exclaimed happily. "Let me cook for you! I can make curry, and yakisoba and-" He rambled on excitedly. "It'll be fun! And you can keep the leftovers, and maybe she'll get better from eating them!"

It was the fact that Tsuzuki had never cooked for them before that the old man didn't immediately refuse. Instead he was already imagining the delicious meal that he would be eating despite the fact that the resident cook was sick. "Are you sure you're okay with that?" The old man questioned out of politeness. "The arrangement with Tatsumi-" At Tsuzuki's over eager nod, the old man immediately latched onto the idea. "Good! When can I expect you to come over?"

"I just have to do reports today at work . . ." Tsuzuki began. He figured he might be able to leave about an hour early and arrive home before rush hour. Of course, if Tatsumi found out about his plans . . .

"Oh, and could you be so kind as to pick up the supplies?" The old man asked grinning. If he happened to 'forget' to give Tsuzuki money for them, he could have a free meal!

"Oh, yes!" Tsuzuki almost squealed. "Then, if you like my cooking, we can eat it every night!"

***

Tsuzuki tried to fight past a mob to get into the store. If the miser hadn't kept him after for an extra half-hour doing reports, he might have actually made it before the workday ended. As it turned out, Tatsumi thought that Tsuzuki was shirking his responsibilities, (which he was) and spent the last hour making sure Tsuzuki finished the last report. Then, he demanded Tsuzuki stay after while he finished with his.

When he finally managed to slide around a vending machine and go through the doors, he found himself in a dankly lit room. The store he currently occupied was the third one he had visited in the last hour. He vaguely wondered why the most common beer that he drank was in none of the other stores. 

He found his liquor wedged between a bottle of Diet Coke and another bottle of Bubble Gum flavored Orange Juice. 

"Uh, sir, I need to see some ID." The clerk said in a monotone voice.

Tsuzuki spent the next few moments gaping. He had simply never been carded in the 100 or so years he had been alive.

He searched his pockets, and when he failed to find the plastic piece, he started empting them on the counter. Soon, a piece of yesterday's cake, Maria Wong's Stepmother's cell phone, a lock of hair that resembled Hijiri's, a bottle of aspirin Abiko Tetsuhiro had given Tsuzuki to 'remember him with', plus thousands of ofuda charms littered the counter. There was no ID card among them.

It was then that Tsuzuki remembered that because he was dead, he had no ID in the human world. 

"Please don't card me!" Tsuzuki pleaded. "I really am over eighteen!" He tried to blink charmingly.

"Limit's twenty-one." The clerk replied, not seeming to notice the debris that littered the counter before him.

"I'm older than that too!" Tsuzuki promised.

"No ID, no service." The clerk replied. "In fact, I don't think you should be here if you're younger than twenty-one."

"What do you mean? And I'm older than that!" 

"This is a liquor store." The clerk told him, starring through him.

Tsuzuki was about to protest, when he noticed something odd. "But you can't be twenty-one yourself!" He exclaimed. "How can you work here? In fact, you look like a high school student!"

"I work here, I don't shop here." The clerk blinked sleepily. "Well, my mom does take advantage of the employee discount in the movie section."

"Movie section?" Tsuzuki gaped. "This is a liquor store! It can't have a movie section." The clerk shrugged and pointed at the black curtains by the cough syrup. Tsuzuki left defeated.

Tsuzuki soon found himself struggling back around the vending machine. He was convinced that the person who named it rush _hour was just trying to reassure people that it would be over with in an hour._

It was then that Tsuzuki looked, and realized that the beer in the vending machine before him was cheaper the store's. He looked from it to the store and shrugged, putting in a 100-yen coin. The vending machine chose that time to go out of order.

Because the population of Tokyo had grown accustomed to strange monsters appearing, and other such things, no one even turned their head at the man who was screaming and crying in front of a beer vending machine out side the liquor store.

***

"You're a little late." The old man observed. As it was now midnight, Tsuzuki was indeed a little late. However, despite the hour, the prospect of food had given the two men energy to stay awake.

As he cooked, Tsuzuki hummed a song until the old man quietly asked him to at least not sing off-key. When everything (including the many bags the food came in) was in the oven, both men stared across from each other with surprisingly nothing to say. 

The old man didn't want his tenant to know about his lecherous activities, and Tsuzuki wasn't authorized to tell his landlord about his post-life job. Still, Tsuzuki couldn't help but try to initiate a conversation.

"Uh, so," He began. "What did you do today?" He asked. The old man jumped up, knocking his cushion over.

He had the look of a fugitive. "Nothing!" He looked around wildly before sitting back down. "Well, what did you do?" He asked trying to calm down.

Tsuzuki flinched at the question. "I also did nothing." The men looked across the table at each other and nodded in understanding.

When the food was out of the oven, Tsuzuki put it in a bowl and set it on the table. A mouth-watering aroma wafted out through the small room, and the old man inhaled appreciatively. "This looks wonderful!" He exclaimed. "Itadakimasu!"

Tsuzuki echoed him, and they both ladled the food on the plates. The old man shoveled the food in his mouth, and chewed.

It was about this time that the horrible taste of the food set in, and the old man screamed, spitting out his mouthful.

***

"Are you okay?" Tsuzuki asked worriedly. The old man was too busy gagging out the food to bother replying. "Oh, I know! I need to let it cool!" Tsuzuki exclaimed. "You burnt your mouth, didn't you?" He sighed in understanding. "Don't worry, as soon as it cools, it will be better."

The old man didn't believe him. It was impossible to make something that smelt so good taste so horrible. He tried to relate it to the experience he had in college when he had to eat dog food and mothballs in coleslaw, but that was a seasoned meal compared to this monstrosity. He truthfully didn't want to wait for it to cool down. "Where did you get the food for this?" He demanded while retching.

"Oh, the vending machines had most of it. But I did have some seaweed from my thirtieth birthday that I added." Tsuzuki replied happily. 

"Uh . . ." The old man thought fast. Really. "Why don't I take this food and . . . and . . ."

"And?" Tsuzuki asked innocently. 

"Uh . . ." The old man continued, the epitome of smoothness. "Take it to . . . my . . . wife! I'm sure she would love to have some!" He said, hoping that he managed to cover for himself.

Tsuzuki blinked, considering this. "Oh, how nice of you! I hope she doesn't feel too threatened by my cooking skills."

The old man smiled benignly, thinking that his poor sick wife wouldn't be near such an atrocity. He grabbed the bowl, Tsuzuki's plate as well as his, and ran out of the room.

"Isn't her bedroom that way?" Tsuzuki called after him. Running to the rooms his tenant used, the old man didn't have time to waste on a lie. Finding Tsuzuki's toilet a relatively safe place, he flushed the food down the drain. The dishes themselves were tossed out the window, breaking first the window glass, and then shattering on the pavement below.

He wondered if he would get the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the world from Tsuzuki's dinner.

***

Positive that his landlord was a lunatic, Tsuzuki went to bed late with no dinner. Every once in a while he would whimper in his sleep from hunger. Positive that his tenant wasn't exactly human, the old man woke up his sick wife and told her the good news. He was promptly pummeled for flushing everything down their tenant's toilet.

Neither man noticed that the bug-infested toilet had an eerie glow to it. Slowly, a long tentacle slid out of the bowl and wrapped around a cockroach, pulling it back down. 

***

"Tsuzuki, come here." Tsuzuki froze halfway out the door before turning around and walking back to the office.

"Yes?" He asked timidly of the office chief. If Konoe noticed Tsuzuki's demeanor, he didn't show it as he handed Tsuzuki a file.

"There's some strange activity at your apartment. Apparently, there is a concoction that can open a portal to the demon world. It is your duty to clean it up."

Tsuzuki blinked in surprise. "But my landlords wouldn't open a portal to the demon world!" He protested.

The chief didn't look happy. Then again, he never looked happy, so nothing was new.

"It was made approximately last night. Did you notice any unusual activities?" Konoe wished he could retract that statement. Tsuzuki would have been asleep in a drunken stupor by then.

"No, all I did was cook dinner at around that time." At first the chief wondered what Tsuzuki was doing cooking at such an ungodly hour. Then the rest of the statement settled in.

"You. Were. Cooking?" The chief asked in disbelief. Then he smiled. "I think we've got this nailed on the head then."

Tsuzuki blinked confusedly at the older man's euphemism. "You think that someone made a portal, and ate my cooking?" He asked innocently.

To the thought of actually eating Tsuzuki's cooking, Konoe turned green. Trying to keep his composure, he focused on the matter at hand. "Just clean up the mess. This concoction is weak, and only tomorrow will the conditions be right for the portal to open." Tsuzuki nodded in understanding. 

"Okay, I'll be right on it!" He said cheerfully. Now all he had to do was locate it in his apartment. How hard could that be?

Konoe left soon after, leaving the office in darkness. A few minutes later, a door opened, and a Gushoushin fluttered in, picking up some overdue books the chief had left in his office. The Gushoushin was about to leave when he noticed the calendar. Shaking his head, he set his books down and fluttered over to it. The chief had one of those calendars where at the morning you peel off the top paper, and it shows the date.

The Gushoushin made a clucking sound that, surprisingly or not, sounded like a chicken, as he peeled off the top paper. It seemed the chief had forgotten to do so that morning. 

***

Tsuzuki thought his room seemed a little dark. Then again, his bedroom window, which was his main light source, was boarded up. It probably would look the same way if there wasn't a demon portal in his rooms.

When _the arrangement between Tatsumi and his landowners had been made, he had no idea what he had been getting into. He should have known not to let a miser choose his rooms for him. Of course Tatsumi had gotten the cheapest rooms humanely possible. _

These rooms consisted of a 1x2 m bedroom and a 1x1 m bathroom. His futon comprised most of the floor, leaving a small gap at the end where there was a pile of clothes, which Tsuzuki wasn't sure was clean. Kazusa's toys were sprawled halfway up his futon, which was the only place they would fit. The only window was literally a hole in the wall that he had created when he had 'accidentally' booted Watson out. 

At the pillow end of the futon was a small closet like door, which led to the bathroom. Now, the word bathroom is applied loosely here. The toilet took up the entire space, with a rope that you would have to pull to flush. If one were to go in this room, one would have to stand upon the toilet to close the door. The bathroom window was as long as the wall, so if Tsuzuki actually used it he would end up flashing the neighborhood. (Then again, several people wouldn't mind that.) Inside the toilet bowl, cockroaches and spiders were dueling it out over space and food for their nests. Even though the landlords had tried on several occasions to use Spiders-be-gone and Roach-a-cide, it seemed to only cause both populations to grow.

So for obvious reasons Tsuzuki used the bathhouses and office restrooms.

Tsuzuki frowned as he proceeded to search for the portal. There weren't many places it could be. After shuffling around in his clothes pile, Tsuzuki felt along his futon, and lifted his pillow. Nothing. He checked the ceiling and behind one of the rotted boards covering the 'window'. Still nothing. Tsuzuki checked under the futon, the toys, and along the side of the room. After he had checked every possible part of the bedroom, he turned towards the ominous door.

He took a few breaths and held up a shirt to his face. Tsuzuki had a pretty good idea what it smelt like from when Watari had gotten drunk and threw up in the only drain available. The odor was bad enough to make Tsuzuki join Watari, which made things worse, because he saw what was in the drain.

The afternoon light lit up the room, so he didn't need a flashlight. The wadded up shirt blocked the majority of the smell, but it was already turning a greenish color. The bathroom looked a lot like it did the last time he saw it. The toilet looked like a birdbath; it took up the majority of the room, a rope hung from the ceiling, and there still was the war between the cockroaches and spiders. Yes, it would have been normal if there weren't several tentacles snatching the bugs and pulling them down.

Those tentacles froze when the door opened, and released their squirming victims so they could launch strait towards the intruder.

Tsuzuki threw his shirt at the tentacles, slammed the door closed, and backed off crab-wise. Then he ran into the hallway, grabbing the file as he passed it, desperately pulling out an ofuda. The demon's tentacles burst through the door, and one buried into his mouth.

As Tsuzuki gagged around the tentacle, the ofuda floated to the floor and gave a sudden burst of light. The demon had retracted its tentacle, and Tsuzuki was left alone in the hallway.

He ran back in and went to the ruined doorway of the bathroom. The toilet stood out like a demonic shrine, only there were no tentacles in or around it. Now Tsuzuki simply couldn't get to the demon. Closing the door, he retreated towards the file.

***

The first paper of the file had in big, scrawled handwriting that was undeniably the chief's, "You'd better not wait for this! If you do, then you aren't getting paid." The second was emergency measures for 'If You Procrastinate'. 

1.         You will need to find a person who can seal demon portals

2.         You will need to find the demon's lair.

3.         You will need to have that person seal the portal.

4.         You will need to summon a shikigami to destroy any demons that have crossed the portal.

Tsuzuki wondered if the people of his division had a thing for pointing out the obvious. However, at the bottom of the paper was an address of a person who could seal demon portals. The next paper had specifications for the spell to seal the portal.

He skimmed it quickly and then reread it as a certain ingredient came up. "Where am I supposed to find Bubble Gum flavored Orange Juice?"

***

An hour later, Tsuzuki walked along houses that were too rich for their own good. He passed one that was made of gold, and had some old guy outside wearing only his boxers and lots of gold jewelry. Another house was made of quartz and had a woman with a red face hurriedly changing while servants held up sheets around her. It didn't take a genius to realize that the person he was looking for was living in a weird section of Tokyo.

When he reached the corner of one of the streets, Tsuzuki held up the address and a map to the fading light. He squinted and tried to locate where he was. Unfortunately, our dear purple-eyed shinigami was lost. He had been wandering around this part of Tokyo for the better part of an hour, and he was no closer to finding the demonologist than he was when he had started. He briefly entertained the idea of going up to one of the houses and asking for directions, but a quick glance at the quartz house with the woman (now fully clothed) changed his mind.

He went down one street and up another. The place looked eerily similar to the street he had just left; only there weren't quartz houses any more. He turned off that street and went across another, comparing addresses again with that of his paper.

At the street corner, Tsuzuki slumped against a sign. His stomach growled mournfully at him as he regretted eating only a light dinner before going on his search. He was lost, hungry, and even if he teleported back to the Meifu, his toilet was still had a demon living in it.

The wind started blowing, and Tsuzuki huddled against the pole to try to conserve heat. Unfortunately, the file slipped out of his cold hand and fluttered away. Tsuzuki jumped up and braving the cold, ran after it. It led him across the street before fluttering up into someone's face, completely obscuring his or her features.

Tsuzuki made it halfway across the street before he froze cold in the center. Only one person wore those clothes, and unless he was also a fashion model . . . 

Irritably a white hand snatched the offending paper off its face, and a cold gaze slid across the paper to Tsuzuki. Bloodless lips twisted into a semblance of a smile that was far too predatory to give Tsuzuki any comfort.

"Tsuzuki-san." Tsuzuki twitched at the sound of his name coming from the figure before him. "What brings you here?" Muraki regarded Tsuzuki intently, oblivious to the latter's discomfort.

Tsuzuki himself took a step back, and started to turn before he remembered that he really needed his file back. He was torn between going near Muraki, and returning back to his demon habituated rooms.

Muraki didn't pass up the chance to read the file. Raising his eyebrow at the message to Tsuzuki, he flipped through, reading the instructions for stopping the demon, and looking interested at the spell components list.

Tsuzuki remained in his internal struggle. Should he go demand his paper back, or run away to his apartment and try to figure out how to stop the demon there? His struggle came to a crashing halt when a car swerved and nearly hit him, the driver flipping him off as he drove past. He circled to the sidewalk, keeping his distance, watching his files and, more importantly, Muraki.

Once he made it to the sidewalk, Muraki strode towards Tsuzuki with a slow purposeful gait until he reached a distance at which Tsuzuki started backing off. He held out the files at arm's length, waiting with a slight smile.

Tsuzuki warily edged near him, and lunged towards the hand. Muraki jerked the files back; leaving Tsuzuki sprawled on his face, not a foot away. The former crouched near the latter and reached out to stroke his hair.

"Am I correct in thinking that you are looking for the owner of this address?" He asked. Tsuzuki jerked away from his hand, glaring at him. "I can take you to the owner's house." Muraki offered while he got up.

Tsuzuki shook his head; shaking it so hard his hair flew around him. Muraki only smiled at him. "Are you sure?" With out waiting for an answer, the doctor turned and started walking away. Tsuzuki watched him; his face going red when he realized Muraki was swaying his hips. He reluctantly followed the doctor, certain to keep his distance. 

When the two arrived at a house that had vines growing over it, Muraki brushed aside the leaves to reveal a number and strode through the garden to the house. Not once did he look back. Tsuzuki was flabbergasted when he realized that Muraki had indeed brought him to the right address. Dread curled in his stomach when he noticed that Muraki was entering the house as if he lived there.

Tsuzuki hurried to the door, stopping at the threshold. Muraki waited for him just inside, still smiling. Taking as deep a breath as he dared, Tsuzuki entered the building, and the door swung shut behind him.

Tsuzuki jumped as an old man brushed past him to the kitchen, but he didn't dare to take his eyes off Muraki. The other man still smiled and held out house shoes, which Tsuzuki reluctantly accepted. While Muraki waited, Tsuzuki changed his shoes, and then followed Muraki deeper in the house.

The furnishings were surprisingly western and spacious. The wooden floor boards creaked a little as Tsuzuki edged past them, but not as much as when Muraki had. When they arrived in a room with western couches and a coffee table, Muraki finally halted and turned. His smile had neither disappeared nor receded since they'd met on the street.

"Do sit. Discussions like this take long, and you seem tired." Not moving his gaze from Muraki, he moved so the coffee table was between them before sitting. Muraki accepted his position, sitting opposite of Tsuzuki. "May I offer you refreshments? From the urgency of this file," He hefted the forgotten file still in his hand, "I would assume you haven't had a chance to eat."

Tsuzuki's hunger had disappeared the moment he met the doctor on the street. "What are you playing at?" He asked Muraki, ignoring the question. "Why are you helping me?"

Muraki regarded him with an amused expression. "Surely you can guess by now." He flipped through the file again. "Am I correct in the assumption that you need someone to seal the portal? Is that why you will be distracting the demon while someone does so?" His gaze returned to Tsuzuki's. "Unfortunately, there seems to be only one person who can seal this portal near here." 

Tsuzuki felt his muscles go rigid as he realized what Muraki was getting at. "I can do it my self." He said through gritted teeth.

"So you will risk your life and that of those around you simply because you refuse to trust me?" Muraki asked sadly.

Tsuzuki stopped halfway standing, to watch Muraki with a horrified expression. Slowly, he sat down again, and waited. Muraki didn't say anything, watching him for his decision. Tsuzuki took several breaths before he could speak again. "Okay, we will work together on this assignment. Then you will leave me alone." He desperately delivered his ultimatum.

Muraki sighed and shifted in his seated position. "Oh dear, you really don't understand, do you?" He raised his eyebrow at Tsuzuki's confused expression before continuing. "You need my services for this. However, I am under no obligation to help you." It was Muraki who stood this time, and sauntered over to Tsuzuki. "If I were to assist you, what would I get in return?" He reached out a gloved hand and slid his fingers along Tsuzuki's jaw line. 

Tsuzuki snapped his head back as he jerked away. Muraki chuckled low and deep in his throat, moving to follow Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki fell off the couch and scrambled to the wall to get at the window. But Muraki was already behind him and slid a hand on his shoulder.

"Tsuzuki-san," He purred into Tsuzuki's ear. Tsuzuki tried to shake the hand off as he opened the window. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you." The lips brushed against his ear in promise of things to come. Tsuzuki managed to get one leg halfway out the window before both of Muraki's hands clamped around his arm, restraining him. "Here, a compromise. I'll help you by sealing the portal while you destroy any demons lurking around. In return," Those hands gently tugged, and Tsuzuki was forced away from the window. "You will need to spend a day with me." One of the hands released his arm, only to creep around him in an awkward embrace. "You're not required to do any nightly activities with me . . . unless you change your mind, of course." The low chuckle from behind Tsuzuki's ear sent shivers down his spine. "Do you agree with this?" 

Tsuzuki felt his body convulse with fear at the prospect, but the tentacles crept back into his mind. If he refused Muraki, then he wouldn't be able to seal the portal and keep off the demon both at once. If he agreed, then spending a day with a psycho doctor . . . He ran over the options again in his mind, trying to ignore the fact that a certain psycho doctor was currently nuzzling the hair at the back of his neck. 

'It's only a day.' He told him self. 'Nothing more than a date, like what I've done before. Besides my company, nothing more is required.' He sighed as he reached his decision, irritably yanking a hand out from under his shirt. 

"Okay."

                                                ***

"Where are you taking me?" Somehow, Tsuzuki had the idea that Muraki really didn't care about the answer. It was probably because, once again, a foreign hand was going up his shirt. 

"We are trying to find the supplies you need to seal the portal." Tsuzuki stressed again, mentally panicking as he tried once again to stop the other hand from playing suggestively with his shirt buttons. When they finally reached their destination Tsuzuki stopped before the store with pride. "Here we are!"

Muraki was too shocked to continue feeling Tsuzuki up. He stared at the offending store in shock before he was able to find his voice again. "Tsuzuki-san, why are we in front of a liquor store?"

"Last time I was here, it had most of the components that was in that list." Tsuzuki replied happily, whether it was because they were one step closer to making his rooms inhabitable or the fact that in his shock, Muraki's hands had slipped out from under his shirt, no one knew.

Tsuzuki was relieved that Muraki paid for the items, as he was broke from yesterday's shopping excursion. As they exited the store, both weighed down by the bags, Muraki finally seemed to take an interest in the assignment.

"Where exactly is the portal?" He asked, looking straight ahead. Grateful that he was no longer the subject of Muraki's attentions, Tsuzuki told him. 

"When I checked the apartment the readings came from," Tsuzuki was not about to tell Muraki that he lived there, "The demon attacked me through the plumbing." At Muraki's sidelong glace Tsuzuki continued. "Through the toilet, actually."

Instead of laughing, the silver haired man only looked thoughtful. "That means that the portal must be in the septic tank. It seems that you will have to attack the demon first, and when it is distracted, I will seal the portal."

By then they had reached Tsuzuki's apartments. They stopped across the street and unloaded their bags. Muraki sent a disapproving look at the building, but managed to say nothing. 

"I'll be ready soon. Until then, I suggest you start distracting the demon." Muraki gave Tsuzuki an intense look. "A kiss for good luck?" He asked. It was those words that spurred Tsuzuki into running across the street and into the building with Muraki's laughter echoing behind him.

***

Tsuzuki had an ofuda ready as he crept through his landlord's house, avoiding all the creaking floorboards. 

He had plenty of experience doing this drunk, after spending half his payday check on a drunken splurge; he would come home well past midnight and would get yelled at if he woke up his landlady. So, sober, he was even better at this quiet sneaking. And quiet he would have to be if he wanted to take the demon by surprise.

He slid across the wall opposite his room until he came to his half-open doorway. The light that was in his room cast the broken shoji door in an ominous shade. Taking a deep breath, Tsuzuki burst through the doorway, ofuda held aloft, and a chant to summon Suzaku on the tip of his tongue. Only, the last thing he expected happened.

The demon wasn't there.

After looking around his rumpled futon, clothes, and Kazusa's stuffed toys, he ascertained that the demon wasn't hiding. The light that he had thought the demon caused was actually the light from his bathroom window. As he had never had the bathroom door open to know that the setting sun reflected light through his bathroom, his assumption was reasonably founded.

He edged in the room and glanced in the toilet. One thing good that would come out of this was that the population of bugs had significantly decreased. Now there was only one spider nest and three cockroaches, both species huddling in fear.

As there wasn't much else to do, Tsuzuki stood on the toilet and tried to look out the broken window to follow the pipes. It was then that dread took hold of him. 

If Muraki started sealing the demon portal while the demon was still there, then the demon would invariably attack him. Although Tsuzuki wasn't all that opposed to Muraki's demise, he still needed Muraki to seal the gate. And, Tsuzuki reluctantly admitted to himself, although he hated Muraki, he wouldn't be able to stand the guilt of knowing that he had led Muraki to his death.

Tsuzuki jumped off the toilet and into the room, intending to warn Muraki, when something slick and wet wrapped around his throat and pulled back. The ground below him erupted as more tentacles wrapped around him and dragged him under the house. It was about that time that Tsuzuki remembered that he had shut the bathroom door.

***

When he came to, the smell was the first thing that hit him. It was a horrible, decaying stench that filled his nostrils like the tentacles that restrained him. Tsuzuki warily opened one eye and decided that he had liked it better when he was unconscious.

He was suspended over the bottom of a surprisingly clean septic tank. The tentacles that wrapped around him kept him eagle spread, and from escaping. He was able to see this because a large white portal dimly lit the tank.

However, the faint shafts of light also allowed him to see his captor. It looked a lot like a bunch of coiled tentacles that paled until at the ends were white. Seeing that its captive was awake, the demon started to shift excitedly, the muck with it, until it was at the point that it sloshed against his calves.

'You've awoken!' The intruding thought exploded in his head. 'The one who had dared to attack Saagatanas!' The demon stopped moving, and a tentacle slid over to the portal. 'I shall give you to Ashitarote-sama. If I prove that I have defeated you, he will name me Ryuuki Division Brigade Commander in Saagatanus's place.' The tentacle slid in the portal, and the ones that restrained Tsuzuki started to follow. 'Then it shall be me, and not a stupid human such as yourself that will have the power!' Dark laughter cut through Tsuzuki's mind. He opened his mouth to protest.

"I don't care about your demon hierarchy. If you want the position, go to Ashitarote himself and demand it. Just leave me alone." He struggled against the tentacles as they drifted even closer to the portal. "You have a few seconds until the portal closes. Go back to the demon world, don't come back, and I won't destroy you."

'You think that the white one will seal the portal?' The voice had tones of amusement in it.

"Why wouldn't he?" Tsuzuki demanded.

If it were possible, the demon would have smiled. But because it didn't have a mouth, it didn't. 'He has all the reason to help us, and none to help you. Why would he choose you over his allies?' The demon asked. 'Besides, hasn't he had more than enough time to complete his spell?'

That, Tsuzuki realized, was true. He had no idea how long he had been unconscious, but he had been in the apartment for a good five minutes before he had fallen in the demon's trap. Muraki should have been able to start sealing the portal before now.

The demon chuckled in his mind again. 'Shall I give you to him as a gift?' It asked happily. 'I'm sure Ashitarote-sama will let me have you. And the white one may prove useful in the future.' Tsuzuki shuddered at the mental images of being a gift to Muraki. The demon paused, holding him inches from the portal.

'You are pretty, for a human.' It commented a tentacle started sliding under his shirt. With a jerk, it was ripped open; buttons were torn from their places to strike against the bottom of the tank. 'Perhaps I'll keep you as a plaything for myself. Shall I seal you in crystal so I can look at your pretty eyes whenever it pleases me?' The demon asked.

Suddenly a layer of lines appeared around the portal. The portal reacted by shuddering visibly, and the light dimmed before going black, leaving parts of the demon detached from the ones already through the portal. The demon let out a piercing scream, which left Tsuzuki's head ringing for a few moments. 

Tsuzuki didn't know whether to be grateful or fearful. Muraki had carried through on his promise.

***

Muraki stood outside the apartment Tsuzuki had disappeared into. At first, he had thought that Tsuzuki had left him there, returning to the safe arms of his companions. Because a mental scream sounded when he had finished his spell, he threw his hypothesis out the window.

Tsuzuki might have been a person who would leave him standing alone after he was done with a case. It didn't help his ego to be left with the tenets of the apartment building. They had noticed that their building had problems, and as it was a common occurrence, evacuated to across the street. Narrowing his one visible eye, Muraki strode through the door that Tsuzuki had earlier entered the building through.

Of course it would have to be on the top floor. Muraki kept calm as he strode up the stairs and through the open door at the top.

When he came to an area, which had a scent that reminded him of Tsuzuki, he paused before going in. The first thing he noticed was a large gaping hole, and bits of the wall missing. Looking down, he saw that the hole was present in the rest of the levels of the apartment complex. Pressing his already pale lips together, he left the room.

***

The demon had reacted to the portal closing by banging its tentacles around the now empty tank, shaking Tsuzuki from side to side as it did so. After it was done with its spasms, the demon stopped to rethink its plans. It obviously couldn't bring Tsuzuki with it back to the demon world, at least not right away.

Tsuzuki, while he recovered from the sensation of being on a roller coaster, had to think of a way to destroy the demon. Now that Muraki had sealed the barrier, he also wanted to figure out why Muraki had helped him as well. But that wasn't the immediate problem. If he could summon Suzaku . . .

Tatsumi would have a fit over the damage she would inevitably cause. However, destroying his house was a small price to pay for not being a demon's trophy. Now if he only had a distraction . . .

The demon had, by that time, decided that its chances of getting Tsuzuki to the demon world were better if it wasn't in an empty septic tank. It and Tsuzuki slid over to the hole and sliding its tentacles over the opening, it pulled them both up. 

And right in front of Muraki.

***

The demon glared at Muraki. Muraki looked back, nonplused, before sliding his gaze over to where Tsuzuki was captive in the myriad of tentacles. He studied Tsuzuki for a few minutes, (actually he was staring at Tsuzuki's bared chest) before sliding his gaze back over to the demon.

'Why did you seal the portal?' The demon wailed. However, because Muraki wasn't telepathic or linked to the demon, he couldn't hear it. 

"Why don't you give me Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki asked. As the demon had no mouth it couldn't verbally answer him. However, the demon was able to respond by curling its tentacles possessively around Tsuzuki. Muraki sighed before reaching out and grasping one of Tsuzuki's torn shirttails.

Tsuzuki truthfully did not like this. Muraki pulled him closer, the other hand sliding around his bare abdomen. He pushed away from the offending hands, closer to the demon.  
            

"Tsuzuki-san." Muraki sighed. "You aren't being productive." He pointed out. Tsuzuki kicked once more at the silver haired man.

The demon curled another tentacle around Tsuzuki, which sent Tsuzuki into a near panic attack. He struggled closer to the doctor, until he was nearly in the other's arms, before struggling back towards the demon.

This went on for only so long, before Tsuzuki was forced to stop from exhaustion. Muraki shook his head at Tsuzuki in a scolding manner. The demon was shaking from mirthless laughter. 

All in all the day wasn't going very well for the purple-eyed Shinigami.

Done laughing, the demon went back to batting at Muraki with its tentacles. Muraki shoved them away from his body before snapping his fingers. The one remaining side of the apartment exploded as a three-headed hydra burst through. Muraki directed the hydra to attack the demon, decimating the top end of the apartments. 

Tsuzuki pushed against the tentacles again, now that Muraki seemed distracted with the hydra. He shook his head to clear it of the tingling sensation

***

Fire stormed out around him. It took the shape of feathery wings that curled around him protectively. 

"Suzaku!" Tsuzuki exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?" He asked in confusion. "Not that you aren't welcome here," he continued hurriedly.

The wings spread as Suzaku launched another attack at the demon. "As a shikigami, it is my sworn duty," She explained, "-to protect you from perverts, lunatics, and the government." Tsuzuki blinked at the last statement. "The demon counts as one." Suzaku explained. Just as Tsuzuki was going to ask which one, Suzaku attacked the demon.

The demon screamed as it was incinerated by the phoenix; releasing Tsuzuki . . . right into Muraki's waiting arms. As the fire consumed the demon, Muraki carried Tsuzuki out of the apartment and through the mob of people who were watching the battle. By that time Tsuzuki was struggling to get out of the white-clad arms.

***

Tatsumi says:

Tatsumi stands before us, holding a long pointer stick. In the background, there is a decrepit sign with a crescent moon on it, saying, 'Sailor Says'. Over the logo in red ink is the kanji for Yami no Matsuei.

"Today we learned an important lesson." Tatsumi gives us a meaningful glance. "Don't flush toxic chemicals down the toilet, or they'll open a portal to the demon world in your septic tank." He pulls down a shade that has complicated instructions on it. "The best thing you can do, especially if Tsuzuki cooks for you, is-" He pressed his pointer stick against what can only be described as an ink smudge, "Go to the Gensou Kai."

The stick is pressed against several parts of the shade as he explains how to do so. "And when you get there," He continues, "You need to find Touda. He is usually sulking on the roof of Tenkuu."

An angry voice calls from off the set, "I don't sulk!"

"Yes, of course you don't." Tatsumi patronizes sarcastically. "He is usually on top of the building, avoiding other shikigami, brooding." Tatsumi glares at someone off stage before continuing. "Once you find Touda, convince him to use his powers to destroy it."

Suddenly someone storms up from the side. "My power can destroy this world; it's not to be used to destroy filth!" He growls. Tatsumi glares at him before continuing.

"Yes. Well, now you know what to do." The scene then fades so that all you can see is the logo for Sailor Moon. 

End of part 1


	2. Playing Sick

Playing Sick

(Or "How long can Tsuzuki keep his shirt off before he notices?")

Tatsumi was having a very horrible nightmare. It involved a black snake trying to break down his door. Thankfully, just as the door gave way, Tatsumi awoke in cold sweat. Unfortunately, the pounding continued.

Normally, he would just ignore nighttime disturbances and go back asleep. However, the door was a rather nice one, and whoever was pounding on it sounded like they were planning on breaking it down.

So, for that reason alone, Tatsumi got up and answered the door.

When he opened the door, Tatsumi was surprised by a black figure launching itself at him. It hit him solidly in the chest, knocking him over on his back. He immediately reacted to the attack by rolling over and pinning the figure underneath him.

It was then that Tatsumi realized that the figure was Tsuzuki. His shirt was ripped open, he smelt like he had just come from the sewers, and he was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Tsuzuki-san!" Tatsumi exclaimed. "What's wrong?" Tsuzuki, who was still sobbing underneath him, didn't answer. "Please stop crying." Tatsumi pleaded. Tsuzuki only sat up as much as their position allowed him to and buried his face into Tatsumi's nightshirt, grasping the loose fabric. Tatsumi looked around his living room hurriedly for something to distract Tsuzuki. "If you stop, I have cake."

The tears mysteriously vanished. "Cake!" Tsuzuki wiped his nose on Tatsumi's shirt, glancing around the sparsely furnished room curiously. "Where?" When Tatsumi didn't answer him, Tsuzuki wiggled out from underneath him to search for his cake.

Tatsumi watched as Tsuzuki poked at the cushions in the room, as if expecting the cake to be hidden in their crevices. "Where's the cake?" Tsuzuki asked, giving up.

Tatsumi tore his gaze from Tsuzuki's bared chest. "I don't have cake." Tatsumi reluctantly admitted. Tsuzuki's eyes began to tear up again, and he started sniffing pitifully. "But there's cake in the common room, and if you just make it on time to work, you can have some." Tatsumi promised.

The sniffles subsided, but Tsuzuki's eyes still looked watery. Tatsumi retrieved a tissue and started dabbing at Tsuzuki's still damp cheeks. "What am I going to do with you?" Tatsumi murmured, wiping off most of the dampness. Retrieving another tissue, he held it in front of Tsuzuki's nose. "Blow." Tatsumi commanded.

After disposing of the tissues, Tatsumi ushered Tsuzuki to change his shoes before venturing further in his living space.

Tsuzuki had never really been inside Tatsumi's home. The only reason he knew where Tatsumi lived was that he had hacked into the company databanks few years back. One would never know when he would need to rob the secretary's house. 

Though it was more opulently furnished than Tsuzuki's apartment had been, (which wasn't hard to do) it was still rather bare. Besides the low table and cushions, which Tatsumi was ushering him towards, the living room didn't have anything else.

Kneeling on the cushion that was across from Tsuzuki, Tatsumi pursed his lips in an attempt to put the events in order. Though he wanted to find out what had happened, if he reminded Tsuzuki of what was making him cry, there was no guarantee that Tsuzuki would not cry.

Further more, he had to figure out what to do in this situation. Tsuzuki was already settling down comfortably in his home, and Tatsumi couldn't find it in him to send the man away.

"Would you like some tea?" Tatsumi asked delicately. It was going to be a long night.

***

It was a rather nice day in the Meifu. The doves were fluttering around the shinigami, the Sakura looked as beautiful as ever, and the sun shone down on the building, giving it a white hue.

Unfortunately, for the two people who had four to no hours of sleep, it was a living hell.

Tatsumi rubbed at his eyes again to keep from falling asleep. Four hours were not enough, and the paper work was really starting to wear on his nerves.

Tsuzuki was in a better position. In other words, he was sprawled across his desk, drooling on his paper work and the shirt Tatsumi had loaned him, snoring loudly.

At least, that was what he was doing before his door was nearly knocked off the hinges by an irate Terazuma.

"The chief wants to see you." The former cop growled at Tsuzuki. "And tell him I am not a messenger bird." The door was slammed shut so hard that it bounced off the frame and remained open.

When Tsuzuki trudged in, Hisoka, Tatsumi and Konoe were already in the office. Tatsumi was standing with difficulty, and the two other occupants were watching him worriedly. When Tsuzuki nearly missed the chair, their attention was centered on him as well. When Tatsumi handed Tsuzuki the folder, his grip slipped and the contents were dumped in Tsuzuki's lap. After they had picked up all the papers, Tatsumi launched in his lecture with a yawn.

"This case should be rather simple." He explained to Tsuzuki, whose eyelids were glued shut. "There is a resort that has files on a re-" Tatsumi swayed and nearly fell down. "-recent case. You simply need to figure out an excuse to get out of the activities for the day," Yawn. "-and go into the office and retrieve the files from the computer." Tatsumi paused and yawned again. Reaching over, he tapped Tsuzuki on the head to wake him up. "With the ticket provided in the file, you can stay the night and enjoy dinner at the resort's expense." Tatsumi leaned forward on the desk and stayed like that for a while before suddenly jerking up. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this," He mumbled. "It is all in the file." Tatsumi, finished with the report, leaned back against the wall for stability.

A few seconds passed, which melted into a few minutes. Finally, Konoe edged towards Tatsumi to poke him. When Tatsumi didn't react, Konoe edged a little closer and poked him again, before tilting his head in wonder as Tatsumi made a grumbling noise in his sleep.

Hisoka sighed before going over to Tsuzuki. The lazy idiot had slept through most of the lecture, and it was time he woke up. "When will we be leaving?" He asked the chief as he shook Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki grumbled and found a more comfortable position on the desk. "It's only Tsuzuki this time." Konoe informed Hisoka. "Tatsumi found a loop hole where if he gives Tsuzuki this assignment, Tsuzuki wont need a vacation for another five months, and then it's the company vacation."

Hisoka saved the files from Tsuzuki's drool, and flipped through them. "This is a rather nice resort." He admitted. "Why is Tatsumi sending him there when he could get a cheaper motel?" Hisoka asked.

"Terazuma won the ticket in a door prize on his last mission. Tatsumi simply confiscated it, so it's free for us."

Hisoka nodded at this, giving Tsuzuki an intense look, which the latter responded to by letting out a rather loud snore. Hisoka hoped Tsuzuki would enjoy this. It was the last vacation he would get for a while.

***

Tsuzuki yawned as he surveyed his lodgings. He shook his head so he would wake up and looked again. He then decided to have his eyes checked. Tatsumi would never have sent him to such a nice hotel.

One of the maids guided him to his rooms and left Tsuzuki to stare at them in disbelief. He jumped when someone who was trying not to laugh knocked on his door, and handed him his bag of belongings.

Tsuzuki didn't really see what was so funny about his bag. Sure, it was rather small, but he hadn't needed much on his overnight stay. It had Tatsumi's toothbrush and hair brush that he had swiped earlier that morning, and the one of the few shirts Tatsumi would let him borrow.

Putting the bag to the side, Tsuzuki decided that not moving was probably best. This was a rather nice dream, and he didn't want to do anything to disturb it or wake up.

His body didn't seem to want to obey him, and the next thing he knew, he was lounging happily on the bed. As the dream didn't shatter when he touched it, Tsuzuki closed his suddenly heavy eyes.

After what could have been anywhere from five minutes to five hours Tsuzuki was awoken by knocking on his door. He forced his body to sit up and answer the door.

Moving away from the bed was like moving through molasses. His feet grew heavier as he trudged towards the door, and for a while, Tsuzuki was afraid he wouldn't make it.

A young woman was on the other end of the door. She smiled cheerfully, and if Tsuzuki wasn't a gentle soul who had guilt trips about stepping on flies, he might have tried to strangle her. "Good afternoon, sir." Her voice was as cheerful as her smile. Tsuzuki managed a mumble that resembled something about the morning. Undaunted, the woman continued. "Your hosts have selected a fine array of games and entertainment for you to enjoy this evening. Would you like to start now?" Tsuzuki shook his head, which was a mistake as he fell down.

"Excuse me sir," Tsuzuki found it was possible to be cheerfully worried. "Are you alright?" Tsuzuki thought it was painfully obvious that he wasn't all right, but managed to shake his head anyways. "What's wrong?" The woman asked.

Tsuzuki thought as fast as it was possible for a person who was falling asleep. 'The mission,' he reminded himself, 'the mission.'

"Sick." He moaned. He didn't put any effort into faking it, but the woman seemed to believe him anyways. It was probably because he was still sprawled out on the floor.

"Oh, no!" The woman wailed, her smile vanishing. "I'm sorry sir, can I do anything for you?" She asked. Tsuzuki shook his head, finding it easier to do on the floor. "I'll tell the management about this. Don't worry, you don't have to do a thing, just lie there and recover." With that, the woman closed the door.

Tsuzuki struggled up and considered moving towards the bed. But if he did so, he wouldn't get the mission done, nor would he get paid.

Pressing his ear to the door, Tsuzuki tried to discern any noise on the other side. When he was sure he heard nothing, he opened the door and stumbled into a maid's cart. 

Extracting himself from the cleaning supplies, Tsuzuki apologized to the disgruntled maid before continuing down the hallway. Trying to remember the directions he took, Tsuzuki wound up walking into several more dead ends. Nearly half an hour later, he found his way through the ventilation system to the main office.

The employees were working diligently, and studiously. If Tsuzuki had been their manager, he would have been proud of them. But as they were impending his mission of stealing files from the office, all he could do was wait. 

After several minutes in the cramped duct went by, he began to tap his fingers on the duct, which later caused a complaint about mice. The precise drumming soon rocked him to sleep, and he drooled happily in his cramped space. 

A buzzer went off, making Tsuzuki jump and hit his head painfully on the ceiling of the duct. The employees decided not to figure out where the banging and cursing was coming from, and continently left the office. When the last person was gone, Tsuzuki crawled out of the duct and went over to a computer someone had left on. 

Breaking into the files was surprisingly easy, and Tsuzuki was about to leave when the door opened. Tsuzuki dove underneath a table and watched as a nervous employee came in and started shuffling around the papers.

The employee was about to leave, when he whirled and stared in to the room. He looked around in dark corners and started moving back chairs from the desks.

Tsuzuki crawled along the floor until he was next to a filing cabinet. Seeing the employee searching for something in a drawer, he tiptoed towards the duct. 

Then his legs gave out from exhaustion.

The employee started walking towards a corner, putting a convenient stack of cardboard boxes between him and Tsuzuki. The man continued searching, and when he looked in a large box to Tsuzuki's right, Tsuzuki jumped out and tripped on a chair, falling behind a stand of computers.

After finding a pair of shoes in the box, the employee stopped, looked around, and chuckled. "I'm getting paranoid. Too many scary movies . . ." The employee, who, if this were a horror flick, would have been cut down just then, left.

Tsuzuki sighed in relief and left.

***

The first sign that there was a problem came to him when he found the doors to his room were open. 

Though his mind was still in a sleepy haze, he was sure he remembered to close his door. He knew that there wasn't a maid working in his rooms either by the lack of a cleaning cart.

The cheerful woman he had met earlier waited for him just inside the doorway. "Hello." She greeted cheerfully. "The management was worried, and sent a doctor to help you." 

Tsuzuki blinked, and then his thoughts turned to an angry Tatsumi waving a bill. Seeing his expression, the woman continued. "He's the best there is in Tokyo. And don't worry; his fee has been handled in advance. We're sure he'll be able to make you well."

"How long will he be here?" Tsuzuki asked. He wanted to get to sleep soon, and if the doctor was here too long, he might fall asleep before he left.

"He agreed to be here for another hour." The woman replied happily. "Here, come in and meet him!" Without waiting for his reply, the woman dragged a helpless Tsuzuki in to the main room behind her. "Doctor!" She called out, "Here's your patient!"

When Tsuzuki was able to see the doctor, he would have stopped dead in his tracks, only the woman was still yanking him forward. Just before he did a near nosedive on the floor, he was awarded by a look of shock from the doctor.

As Tsuzuki tried to keep his balance, the woman nodded happily. "Please make him well." She called out as she slammed the door shut. Tsuzuki felt his eyes dilate.

"Oh dear, Tsuzuki-san." If Muraki had indeed been surprised, he didn't show it now in his smug smirk. "You don't look well at all. It's a good thing I was able to come."

Muraki circled Tsuzuki like a predator. Tsuzuki slid along the wall, keeping as far away as possible. Muraki finally stopped when he came to the door and rested against it, appraising Tsuzuki intently.

Muraki finally turned away and opened the door. Tsuzuki's legs almost collapsed underneath him when he realized Muraki had just hung the 'Do not disturb' sign out the door. Muraki locked it before turning back to Tsuzuki.

"Well then," Muraki strode forward briskly until he reached the bag he had brought with him. "Let's begin." Muraki dug around in his bag until he came out with a thermometer. 

Tsuzuki reluctantly held out his hand to accept it. As long as he had Muraki in the same room as him, he wasn't going to let the other man closer than necessary.

He knew something was wrong when Muraki's grin only got wider.

"I do believe you will need my assistance for this." Muraki murmured, still moving closer. A hand started playing with Tsuzuki's shirt.

"W-what," Tsuzuki licked his lips nervously. "How hard is it to put it in my mouth?" Tsuzuki asked while shoving the offending hand away.

The corners of Muraki's mouth twitched. "This is not one of those thermometers." Tsuzuki tilted his head to the side quizzically. "It seems that in my haste to respond to my summons, I packed a rectal thermometer."

Tsuzuki fainted.

***

As he woke up, Tsuzuki had the sensation of being on a soft bed. The mattress was fluffing out underneath him, and cushioned his back like his futon never had. The next thing he noticed was that he was out of his suit jacket. Not only that, but his shirt seemed to be unbuttoned. There was a cold damp cloth moving along his brow, a corner of which was tickling his nose. Though the sensation was rather nice, Tsuzuki reluctantly opened his eyes.

And then he screamed.

It wasn't an ideal thing for Tsuzuki to wake up with Muraki hovering over him.

"Pervert!" Tsuzuki yelled, and wrapped his arms around himself to roll away until he fell off the bed. When he stumbled up, Muraki only had an amused look on his face. Tsuzuki watched as Muraki set down a damp cloth that he had been wiping Tsuzuki's head with.

"Why, Tsuzuki-san," Muraki seemed to float around the bed. "You seem to have misjudged me." Muraki passed him and went to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned with a glass of water, which he handed to Tsuzuki. "Drink up. You were unconscious for several minutes."

Tsuzuki wished he were still unconscious. Still, he warily accepted his glass and drank. After he drained it and set it aside, he tried to get his mouth into working order. "Are you done with the examination yet?" He growled, for some reason thinking that once Muraki finished, he'd be gone.

Muraki raised an eyebrow, before walking over to a shelf. He picked up the papers Tsuzuki had gotten from the company computers earlier.

"Oh, my," Muraki scolded in mock disbelief. "This seems to consist of the personal files of the company." He turned to gaze into Tsuzuki's eyes. "You wouldn't have stolen this, would you?"

Tsuzuki twitched, which if Muraki really had any doubts, would have been a dead giveaway. Trying to regain his composure, Tsuzuki replied, "Answer my question."

Muraki gave a stage sigh. "Well, it seems that as my examination is complete, then as a law abiding citizen," Tsuzuki twitched at this statement. "I would have to turn this over, and let you deal with the proper authorities." Muraki grinned conspiratorially at Tsuzuki. "However, if I were to stay longer, to make certain you are comfortable, it would be a shame if I happened to 'forget' about this."

Muraki stood and picked up his bag as if preparing to leave. "Tell me, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki gathered his trench coat. "What shall I do?"

Tsuzuki balked at this. He watched Muraki, but the other man seemed rather serious. 

When Muraki started shuffling the papers Tsuzuki had stolen, Tsuzuki drew a breath through clenched teeth. "Stay if you must." He forced himself to growl.

Muraki gave Tsuzuki a dispassionate look over his shoulder. "Tsuzuki-san, you might not be aware of this, but," Muraki turned to face him. "I do have a job. Because I am a doctor, I cannot stay because of personal convenience."

Tsuzuki nearly fell down. "What do you want?" Tsuzuki demanded. "Stop hinting and just say it!" 

Muraki sighed patiently. Tsuzuki noticed he still hadn't let go of the papers. "I came here as a doctor to make certain you were well." He finally set down the papers, but then started walking closer to Tsuzuki. When he was close enough, Muraki reached out a gloveless hand and lightly brushed it over Tsuzuki's forehead.

Tsuzuki jerked his head away. Undaunted, Muraki continued walking forward. "You seem to be quite well for someone who is . . . supposedly not. At least, well enough for there to be no need of a doctor." Muraki had reached him again and lifted the same hand to brush Tsuzuki's bangs out of his eyes. "As someone who is intimately concerned for your welfare, I truthfully do wish to stay and make certain you are . . . comfortable. However, as a doctor, that would be rather unprofessional of me."

Tsuzuki felt his muscles spasm as a finger trailed from his temple to his jawbone. "What. Do. You. Want?" Tsuzuki's mouth didn't seem to be working.

Muraki shook his head. "You seem to have some difficulty with this, don't you?" He commented, sliding his fingers along Tsuzuki's jawbone. "I cannot stay here as a doctor. However, if you wish for me to stay as me, then I will." Muraki's dark grin was back as his cool hands cupped Tsuzuki's cheek.

Tsuzuki shook with suppressed rage and fear. "Muraki." He had to take a deep breath. "Will you be kind enough-" He nearly gagged on those words. He had to stop and take a few more breaths.

"Is this difficult for you?" Muraki asked, his hand sliding under Tsuzuki's jaw to stroke his throat, making Tsuzuki wish he had buttoned up his shirt again.

"-to-" When Tsuzuki took a long pause after that word, Muraki's hand moved away. Tsuzuki would have thrown a celebration after that, only the hand dangled near the files. "-to-"

"Yes?" Muraki asked calmly as his hand moved back to Tsuzuki to brush against the base of his throat.

 "-s-stay h-" Fingertips were beginning to play with his collarbone. "-here-" Two more words. "-with-" They slid lower. "-me?" Tsuzuki finally managed to choke out, grabbing the fingers.

Muraki smiled benignly, his hand twisting in Tsuzuki's grasp to entwine with Tsuzuki's fingers. "Why, of course Tsuzuki-san. All you had to do was ask."

***

Unfortunately, though it was a rather nice room, it was made for a bachelor. Tsuzuki didn't know whether or not to be grateful that Muraki had taken the only chair in the room. Even though it meant he was forced to sit on the bed, it was better than Muraki in that position. 

Muraki had ordered some tea and was currently pouring Tsuzuki a cup. "How many sugars do you like?" Muraki asked conversationally, already dumping a few spoonfuls in Tsuzuki's tea. Tsuzuki didn't answer, but Muraki seemed to not be expecting one and dumped in enough sugar to give a normal person a five-week sugar high.

After he handed Tsuzuki his cup, Muraki started pouring his own. "The weather is certainly nice, isn't it?" Muraki commented, gazing out the window. He slowly sipped his tea, jarring Tsuzuki to do the same.

Tsuzuki forced a noncommittal grunt, finding that he did like the sugary tea in his hands.

Muraki's gaze swept over his form, locking intently with his eyes. "Say, Tsuzuki-san," He suddenly said. "Do you know about this tea?" He asked, the corners of his mouth curling secretively. "This is supposedly the same kind that the Chinese Emperor Shen-Nung discovered that one fateful day when he was boiling water." He sipped his tea again. "Amazing how one small, nearly irrelevant discovery could influence so much." Muraki set his tea down. "What do you think, Tsuzuki-san?"

Finished with is cup, Tsuzuki smiled cheerfully. "Sugar is good!"

Muraki blinked confusedly at him for several moments before the smile was back. "You certainly do like sweets, don't you?" Tsuzuki closed his eyes and nodded happily, not noticing the glint in the doctor's eye. Muraki's smile got nearly out of proportion as he started leaning forward. Tsuzuki was still beaming at him with his eyes closed and didn't notice the doctor's eyes flutter closed as he leaned closer . . .

A knocking on the door made Tsuzuki's eyes snap open and Muraki to jerk back.

The knob was tried, and then the sound of impatient pounding ensured on the other side of the door.

Knowing that the mood had been broken, and that who ever was on the other side of the door probably wouldn't stop, Muraki got up to answer it. When he opened it, he was surprised that someone so frail and little could make so much noise.

"Get out of my way!" The old woman demanded. When Muraki only frowned quizzically at her, the old woman kicked him and shoved past.

Tsuzuki, who had by then gotten up from the bed and was standing behind Muraki, moved to block her path. "Excuse me, but who are you?" He asked.

The old woman glared at him. "Get out of my rooms." She growled. 

Tsuzuki tilted his head in confusion. "Excuse me?" He asked. The old woman poked his exposed chest.

"These are my rooms. Get your own." She growled, grabbing his ear and twisting it hard making Tsuzuki bend over and whimper.

Muraki had by then recovered from the blow that did more damage to his ego than his body, and carefully grabbed the old woman's wrist. "Please release my companion." He requested with the up most politeness.

The old woman glared at him. "And you get out too." She snarled. 

"Grandmother," Tsuzuki whimpered in his awkward position. "These aren't your rooms. They're mine for tonight." He paused as an idea occurred to him. "But if you really want Muraki to leave you can take him with you." He offered, making puppy like whimpers and tearing up his eyes at her. 

"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki nearly growled, trying to pry the woman's amazingly strong grip off of Tsuzuki's ear.

The old woman wasn't won over by his display. "In my day, boys didn't cry." The woman, for the first time getting an eyeful of Tsuzuki, gagged in horror. "Nor, in my day," She continued, "Did men run around with their shirts unbuttoned." Muraki, by then, had finally dislodged her fingers from Tsuzuki's ear.

Tsuzuki looked down at his chest and went bright red, grasping the ends of the fabric together. Muraki was too busy wrestling with the surprisingly nimble old woman to spare more than a glance at Tsuzuki.

By then a maid had noticed the disturbance. She entered the room and immediately recognized the old woman.

"Grandmother!" She exclaimed. "This isn't your room!" She went over to take the old woman's hand. "Your room is the next one." And closing the door behind them, the two women left.

Muraki eyed Tsuzuki. The latter was now fumbling with his shirt buttons, but unfortunately, Muraki had other plans. He reached out and grasped Tsuzuki's hands, halting them. Releasing them, he let his fingers trail up the folds of the fabric to the collar where he wrapped the cloth around his hand, pulling the shinigami closer. Tsuzuki's eyes were wide, but the fabric was tight and restricting him from struggling away. Muraki's eyes started to slide shut, ignoring Tsuzuki's panicked whimper.

When the gentle knocking sounded from the door. Muraki sighed in disappointment as Tsuzuki, almost crying in relief, bounded away from him.

There was a young, nervous looking man on the other side of the doorway. Just as Tsuzuki was about to ask if something was wrong, the man pulled out an old-fashioned pistol. "T-this is a-a r-robbery!" He stuttered. He nudged Tsuzuki with his gun. "B-back in-t-to th-the r-room."

Tsuzuki really didn't want to get shot today, so he allowed himself to get nudged back into the room. When they were in the bedroom, with Muraki being surprisingly absent, the kid told him to raise his hands.

Tsuzuki, not wanting to bleed over Tatsumi's shirt, complied. Then the kid tilted his head, his cheeks blushing. "N-no, k-keep th-them ou-t." Tsuzuki did so, and when the kid's blush only intensified, he glanced down.

The way that he was now, Tatsumi's shirt barely hung off his shoulders. And, to make things more uncomfortable, the kid wasn't exactly looking at his face. Nor was he looking behind him, or he would have noticed a white figure who smacked him in the head, knocking the kid unconscious.

"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki chided, stepping over the motionless body. "You should be more careful." When Muraki's gaze swept over him again, lingering in a certain area, Tsuzuki dropped his arms and clutched his shirt against him with a new intensity.

Muraki picked up the kid and went into the hallway. When Tsuzuki peered out the door, he saw that Muraki was dumping the kid in a laundry basket. Dusting off his hands, Muraki had a smirk that seemed oddly satisfied. 

As Muraki passed Tsuzuki, a hand 'slipped' up his thigh and tugged at his shirt. Tsuzuki jerked his shirt out of Muraki's grasp, but just before he could close the door someone jammed his fingers in the frame.

The man seemed out of breath as if he had been running for a long time. "Excuse me, sir," The man panted, glancing at Tsuzuki's attire. "I was wondering where the Ice Machine is." Another glance at Tsuzuki's shirt, or lack there of.

A hand started sliding up the back of his shirt. "I don't know." Tsuzuki admitted while crossing his arms, wishing the man would stop looking at his chest. The hand started playing with the edge of his waistband. Tsuzuki reached behind him, and yanked out the hand.

"Are you sure?" Another low glance. 

"Yes!" Tsuzuki's voice cracked, making both the man wince, and the hand pause before continuing. Tsuzuki was then gently pulled aside as Muraki stepped forward and gave the man directions before closing the door.

"Now," Muraki sighed happily, turning back to Tsuzuki. "Now we are alone." He slowly walked over to Tsuzuki, who backed away.

His door was pushed open. A little kid wearing swimming trunks and a towel over his shoulders walked in Tsuzuki's room. His giraffe plastic floating ring around his waist squeaked as he tried to fit in through the door, but he was forced to give up. He stood in the hallway, and gave Tsuzuki and Muraki an owlish look through his snorkel mask.

Muraki stared at the kid in disbelief. Tsuzuki, who had backed up to the bed, blinked at the kid, before breaking out in a smile. "You saved me!" He cheered.

The kid looked at them both confusedly, before turning to survey the room. "Is this the pool?" He asked, pulling the snorkel tube out of his mouth to make conversation possible.

Muraki ushered the child out. "No, this is not the pool." He continued pushing out the kid until they were to the door. "Why don't you go back to your parents?" He shut the door, cutting of the kid's reply.

Very carefully and slowly, he walked over to the table to pour himself another cup of tea. Tsuzuki warily returned to his seat on the bed. 

The silence stretched between the two as Muraki continued drinking. Finally, when he finished, he turned his heated gaze onto Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki squirmed, suddenly more uncomfortable than he had ever been during the whole past hour or so.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and that same woman who had brought Muraki pranced in.

"Ah, you seem much better!" She exclaimed cheerfully. "I'm so happy!"

Muraki gave her an indecipherable look, which, coming from him, spelled doom. She beamed back at him, oblivious. Tsuzuki huddled on the bed, trying to avoid either person's gaze.

"Well then," She chirped. "It looks like you need some dinner." She bounded over to Tsuzuki and grabbed a convenient shirttail, making it clear that he could either go with her, or get Tatsumi's shirt ripped. 

Muraki made a coughing sound in the back of his throat to gain her attention. The woman was halfway out the door before she turned back to him.

"Oh, yes, you." Muraki looked slightly hurt, having never been so profoundly ignored by the female community before. "You're also invited to share a dinner with our guest." The woman tugged at Tsuzuki's open shirt to get him to hurry.

Muraki's lips twitched into a near smile. "I suppose I could except dinner here." He replied graciously.

***

Tsuzuki tried again to hide his yawn. Either he was successful, or no one really cared that he was about to pass out from exhaustion. He firmly suspected the latter.

Well, almost no one. Muraki, from across the table, looked up sharply at the noise. Tsuzuki gave him a sullen look, which Muraki grinned at before continuing to eat.

Tsuzuki pushed his food around on his plate. Besides the fact that he wasn't hungry, (Oh the horror) he had the distinct impression that if he tried to swallow he'd end up choking. 

Tsuzuki belatedly realized Muraki had said something. When Muraki noticed Tsuzuki hadn't heard him, he repeated his comment. "You're drooling in your food." Tsuzuki snapped his mouth shut and wiped the saliva off his chin. 

Muraki continued to look at him. "Are you alright?" He asked suddenly. Tsuzuki jerked and shook himself.

Before he could answer, a young waiter came up to their table. "Is everything going alright?" He asked, staring at Tsuzuki's chest.

"Well no." Tsuzuki mumbled, too tired to care that yet another person was ogling him.

"Yes." Muraki replied evenly as Tsuzuki struggled to keep his eyes open. "Thank you, you may go now." The waiter only left after the doctor gave him a warning look.

Tsuzuki reached up, intending to try to button his shirt again. Muraki stopped him by running a hand up his thigh, forcing Tsuzuki to snatch the hand away before it went too far. 

Muraki smiled above the table, giving no indications of the things he was doing. Tsuzuki yawned again, blinking rapidly. 

A small group of people gave Tsuzuki admiring looks as they passed the table. Tsuzuki sleepily realized they were all men. Muraki didn't seem to notice them, as he had gone back to his food, still holding Tsuzuki's hand.

The same waiter as before was back, refilling Tsuzuki's glass of water. Only, because his gaze was sidetracked again, Tsuzuki's glass began to overflow.

The waiter, noticing the mess, started apologizing and tried to clean it up. Unfortunately, he ended up spilling his pitcher on Muraki. The drenched homicidal maniac was giving the waiter a murderous stare. The poor waiter was too busy staring at Tsuzuki to notice.

Tsuzuki, feeling a migraine coming on, closed his eyes and prayed that the night would end.

***

When Tsuzuki woke up, he was back in his room. He was happily rested and quite comfortable. Well, comfortable except for the pain in his left nostril. Reaching up to scratch it, he was surprised to find a thinly rolled note sticking out of it. 

After he read it, and just before he went into a mental breakdown, he wondered why Muraki would shove a note up his nose. Then his mind came close to shattering, realizing that he had let Muraki get that close to him without even realizing it.

Suddenly, a pounding on his door ensured. He barely touched it before Tatsumi stomped in, his hair surprisingly tangled and matted.

Spying both his toothbrush and hairbrush lying in the bathroom sink, Tatsumi quickly perfected his appearance and tucked them safely away in his coat.

"Tsuzuki-san." He said with deadly calmness. "I do believe you are a little late for work. As your job starts at eight," Tatsumi glanced meaningfully at the clock, "And it is now noon, I would suggest you return before someone 'accidentally' forgets to pay you." Tatsumi blinked as he suddenly found himself in a empty room.

No, the room wasn't quite empty. There was a conspicuous note on the ground. Tatsumi picked it up, his fingers diligently avoiding the mysterious green, gelatinous substance on the bottom of it, and opened it.

_'_Sunday'it said in writing that was too neat to be Tsuzuki's. Tatsumi frowned quizzically at this. Why would Tsuzuki have a note that said a day of the week?

***

Tatsumi says:

In front of the Sailor Moon logo with the kanji for Yami no Matsuei dripping over it in red paint, Tatsumi stands before us. 

"Today, we learned an important moral lesson." Tatsumi coughs before continuing. (One has to wonder if he is hiding a laugh at the absurdity of all this) "Don't tell lies." He then whips out a copy of the story. "As you will see, here Tsuzuki tells the woman that he is sick when he is only drowsy. Because of that," He flips through the next few pages. "Muraki comes to give him a checkup, and the story goes downhill from there."

Tatsumi nods at a certain part. "You see, if Muraki wasn't trying to seduce Tsuzuki through out the story, all these people wouldn't have been interrupting them. And with the people interrupting him, Tsuzuki couldn't get any sleep."

"Continuing with the lesson," He stresses, "If Tsuzuki had gotten sleep, then he would have gotten to work on time and gotten paid." It is hard to tell, but if one listens hard enough, one can hear him grumble, ". . . toothbrush, of all things, my toothbrush . . ." Tatsumi's face goes very scary for a few minutes.

"So remember children," Tatsumi says, coming out of his 'scary face mode'. "Don't tell lies or psycho doctors from hell will get you."

End of part 2


	3. Double Dates

Double Dates

(Or "Can Tsuzuki really use personality quirks to his advantage?")

Tatsumi sighed as he tried to shift as far away from Tsuzuki as his futon would let him. Tsuzuki, in his own futon, contently asleep, sighed and tossed away. Tatsumi tried to close his eyes to get to sleep again.

No such luck.

He had the warning of a not quite contented snort. He really should have taken the hint and moved. Unfortunately, he thought Tsuzuki would only shift a little this time.

A foot slammed in to his spine, snapping it the wrong way. Tatsumi was in too much pain to cry out and waited in an arched position for his back to heal its self. After a few minutes the wayward vertebrae popped, and relief flooded through his spine.

Tsuzuki, still asleep, missed all of this. The only part that was on his futon was his lower back, and that part was on his pillow. His feet were submerged in the side of Tatsumi's blanket, and his head rested on Tatsumi's house slippers.

Once again, Tatsumi wondered if the gods were punishing him for an unknown crime he had committed in some past life.

"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki mumbled from the shoes.

"Yes?" Tatsumi asked warily. Tsuzuki and early morning conversation existed in two separate corners of the universe. If he was trying to say something . . .

"I know how we can defeat the green ham." Tsuzuki mumbled, drooling on the slippers. Tatsumi groaned into his pillow. "All we have to do is get a circle of love." With that, Tsuzuki rolled over on his stomach and off the futon, sticking one of his toes in Tatsumi's ear.

***

He was forgetting something important. He knew this because the hand that held the toothbrush in his mouth was shaking. The mouth that the toothbrush was sticking out of quivered, making the soapy foam drip down his chin.

At around that time, Tatsumi came in the bathroom. He looked at Tsuzuki, his gaze unreadable. Tsuzuki, happy for the distraction, blinked back full of innocence. 

Tatsumi reached over and pulled his toothbrush out of Tsuzuki's mouth. "Tsuzuki-san," He shook the toothbrush as if he was planning on using to stab something (or someone). "Do you not have your own toothbrush?" He asked in exasperation. 

Much to Tatsumi's chagrin, Tsuzuki shook his dark head pitifully. "Since you do not, why don't we go shopping for a new one? As your payday was yesterday, you should be able to afford a new one." If Tatsumi had been wearing glasses, they would be flashing evilly. He suddenly frowned. "Unless you've already spent it all on another drunken foray?"

Tsuzuki sniffed, the foamy toothpaste starting to drip off his chin. He spit into the sink before answering. "I didn't get a chance. You gave me too much work last night." Tsuzuki looked at Tatsumi with an expression that was somewhere between a sullen glare and a pitiful puppyish pleading one.

Tatsumi picked up a rag and started wiping off Tsuzuki's chin. "Well, we can go shopping together today." He said contentedly. "As we seem to be out of most of our edible foods, we need new groceries, and my shirts are getting used twice as fast-" Tatsumi shook his head in exasperation, fingering the collar of the shirt Tsuzuki was wearing.

"Okay." Tsuzuki reluctantly agreed. He really didn't like to spend money on anything besides candy and alcohol. Then an idea struck him. "There's a fair in the city!" He exclaimed.

Tatsumi didn't look amused. "Yes, and I doubt they will be stocking on shirts." To this, Tsuzuki shook his head.

"Oh, no. This fair will have everything! We can shop there!" He grasped Tatsumi's hands, grinning manically. Tatsumi was considering this, and judging from the expression his face, the decision would go against Tsuzuki. 

So, taking a deep breath, Tsuzuki decided to 'help' Tatsumi. 

"And at fairs, everything is cheap." If a 'normal' person heard that tone said with those words, they would have heard the underlying word 'victory'.

However, because a secretary who can control shadows is nowhere near normal, Tatsumi didn't hear the tone. All he heard were the words, 'everything' and 'cheap'. His mind instantaneously swayed from denying Tsuzuki to agreeing wholeheartedly.

Tsuzuki smiled happily, effectively hiding the smug smirk. Then, as his grin became moronic, he started jumping up and down in the bathroom "We're going to the fair! We're going to the fair!" Tsuzuki sang, managing to do a little dance while still bouncing. 

Tatsumi winced, grateful that he wasn't living in an apartment with tenants.

"Yes, we are. Only, would you be willing to meet me there?" Tatsumi asked. "I have to do a few reports still. It shouldn't take too long." Tatsumi was wary about leaving Tsuzuki alone for too long in his house. Only last night, when he had come from work early to find Tsuzuki 'cooking' . . . He had barely managed to dispose of the hazardous material and keep the kitchen from burning down at the same time.

Tsuzuki, oblivious to Tatsumi's strained expression, nodded. "That's okay!" He still had a moronic grin on his face. "I'll just do a little of browsing early and-" He stopped when Tatsumi curled long fingers around his lapel.

"Whatever you do," The secretary began to shake Tsuzuki, "Do. Not. Buy. Anything!" Knowing Tsuzuki, he'd get taken in with the first seller trying to talk him into a jacked-up price. Tsuzuki nodded worriedly. Tatsumi's face morphed into an all too benign smile. He pinched Tsuzuki cheek and pulled. "Be good. Shall we meet at the entrance at nine-thirty?"

Tsuzuki nodded as well as he could with his cheek being stretched out. Tatsumi, still smiling benignly, let go and started to leave. He was almost out the door when he turned. "Good bye for now, Tsuzuki-san." Tsuzuki, rubbing his cheek, waved, and Tatsumi were gone.

Tsuzuki continued to get ready for the day, but something in the back of his brain was nagging him. Because over seventy five percent of his brain was in the back, he was used to this, and figured it wasn't that important and that it would come to him soon.

When he went into the kitchen, preparing to make breakfast, he found that Tatsumi had already made some for him. Tsuzuki decided against foraging in the kitchen for food and chewed on cooling sausage instead. 

A clock on the wall chimed the hour as nine. Tsuzuki tilted his head; the nagging part of his brain seemed to have something to do with it being nine. 

He normally got to work at around that time, though living the past several days with Tatsumi meant that he was forced to be on time. But as it was Sunday, he didn't have work today.

No, something else was wrong.

He glanced at the egg that Tatsumi had cooked him. White. 'Yes', the back of his brain said. 'Yes, this deals with white. Go on.' White. Lots of things were white, like paper, sugar, and a certain doctor . . .

The back of his brain was practically quivering with tension. 'So close' it told him. 'So very, very close, just a little farther . . .'

Tsuzuki frowned and ate the egg. The back of his brain threw up its hands and informed him it was going on a five-minute vacation. 

He saw a piece of paper lying on the counter top. When he picked it up, he saw it had on it in a neat script that was too flowery to be Tatsumi's, 'Sunday'.

Tsuzuki shrugged and bent over and threw it away, concentrating on his plans for today. Shopping with Tatsumi at a fair, it almost sounded like a date . . .

About five minutes later something clicked, and Tsuzuki sprinted out of the house, swearing profusely.

***

He barely touched the wooden door with his knuckles before it swung open. Muraki gave him a rather dark look.

"Tsuzuki-san. You appear to be late." He growled as well as he could at the object of his affections. 

Tsuzuki, who was bent over exhausted from sprinting for fifteen minutes while trying to find Muraki's house, decided not to answer him.

Muraki reached out and stroked Tsuzuki's hair. "What shall we do today?" He asked happily, any bad feelings gone. Tsuzuki went rigid, hoping he could pull his plan off.

"Fair." He gasped, still catching his breath. "There is a fair." Tsuzuki decided it was easier to catch his breath sitting, so he plopped down on Muraki's steps.

"A fair?" Muraki asked casually. "Why do you want to go to a fair? There are so many better places we could spend our date on." When Tsuzuki glanced up, he saw that Muraki was giving him a disappointed look. "Places better than a crowded fair." Muraki's eyes narrowed at the thought.

Tsuzuki felt his stomach seize with dread. Though he doubted that he could pull his plan off with Muraki and Tatsumi both at the fair, he knew for a fact it didn't have a chance without them both being in the same general area.

Taking a deep breath, Tsuzuki stood and tried to smile charmingly at Muraki. Unfortunately, because he wasn't too thrilled about smiling at Muraki in the first place, and the thoughts of what either Muraki or Tatsumi would do to him if they figured out his idea; his 'charming' smile looked more like an expression someone would wear just before they threw up.

"Please? As a special favor for me?" Tsuzuki tried asking. Muraki, whether because he knew Tsuzuki was up to something, or he was worried of Tsuzuki throwing up on his pure white clothes, had an expression of extreme wariness. "Just think of the things we can do!" Tsuzuki brightened up considerably, no longer with a sick expression on his face.

From the expression on Muraki's face, his idea of what they could do did not involve fairs. However, Tsuzuki's bright purple eyes gazing into his 'helped' him to agree.

"Very well." Muraki had no idea what he was getting into.

***

The fair was spread across a big park. At the front were stalls selling various things at cheap prices that even Tatsumi might agree to. At the back were rides, which Tsuzuki was far more interested in than anything else.

Muraki was far more interested in the shrine lying at the edge than anything else. It was in a well-kept, quiet place, with autumn leaves falling slowly across the stone road. The shrine itself was a wooden building that wasn't actually any bigger than Tsuzuki's former bedroom had been.

Muraki knelt before it. After he was done with whatever he was doing, he motioned Tsuzuki next to him.

"This shrine, it is very beautiful," He turned to brush a leaf out of Tsuzuki's hair. "Do you not agree?" He asked, turning back to the shrine.

Tsuzuki glanced at his watch and blanched. It was already 9:30!

Muraki wasn't looking at him, and therefore noticed nothing. "This shrine is a memorial to-"

Tsuzuki took a few cautious steps back, and when Muraki didn't notice him, he turned and fled.

Tatsumi was waiting just at the entrance. When he saw Tsuzuki was running towards him, he started walking to the shops, making it harder for Tsuzuki to catch up.

By the time Tsuzuki arrived panting, Tatsumi was shaking a shirt, making sure it didn't have any hidden flaws. 

"Try this on." Tatsumi commanded, and before Tsuzuki could catch his breath, he found himself holding the shirt.

The vender was only too happy to help, and suddenly Tsuzuki found that he was stripped of his shirt, with Tatsumi trying to stuff his arms into the long sleeves.

The forming crowd started giving catcalls until Tatsumi gave them a dark look.

"No, that's too tight." Tatsumi said, after fumbling with Tsuzuki's buttons. The two of them (the vendor wasn't wasting the chance to feel Tsuzuki up) proceeded to try to get the shirt back off a struggling Tsuzuki.

"Tsuzuki-san, please calm down." Tatsumi commanded. "There is no way the shirt will stay on forever." The shirt did its best to defy him.

Just as it was almost off, it gave a loud rip. Tatsumi froze, his eyes wide open. Tsuzuki, having a good idea what was coming next, burst into tears. The vendor, with his hand on Tsuzuki's chest, simply started shaking and having a mental break down.

Tatsumi immediately berated the vendor for purposely ripping the shirt so they would have to purchase it. After giving the other man a look that made his blood run cold, Tatsumi knelt before Tsuzuki and tried to comfort him as best he could with people gathering around them.

Handing the vendor the ruined shirt, Tatsumi led Tsuzuki off to another stall, where they were selling larger shirts.

This time, the vendor was female and was too busy flirting with Tatsumi to notice Tsuzuki poking around the clothing racks. Unfortunately for her, Tatsumi didn't notice, as he was both watching Tsuzuki and trying to negotiate a reasonable price (less than 100 yen).

"Are you sure you cannot go lower?" Tatsumi asked, looking over the vendor's head at Tsuzuki, who had found that the shirts were too large.

"Yes," The woman began, then coyly added, "Unless you could-" 

"Tsuzuki-san, please come here." Tatsumi called out, cutting the woman off. He fingered the lapel of the shirt, and then wrapped it around Tsuzuki. "Do you see this? These shirts are far too large for my friend. If we actually buy these, we would have to alter the shirts so he could wear them." Tatsumi adjusted his glasses, a hand still holding Tsuzuki's shirt. "I'm sure you could go lower."

The woman gave Tsuzuki a look of pure venom. "I suppose-" She began.

"Good. Now, we'll need four of these." Tsuzuki escaped from the confines of the shirt and left it in Tatsumi's hand.

He glanced at his watch. It was already fifteen minuets latter! Muraki would be wondering what had happened to him by now.

He looked at Tatsumi. The latter was haggling with the woman for the best deal on the shirts. Surely he wouldn't notice . . .

Tsuzuki took off running.

He pushed through the crowd and stumbled into the desolate shrine area. Desolate, except for one man, that is.

Tsuzuki collapsed next to Muraki, gasping for breath. Muraki suddenly turned. "Don't you think so, Tsuzuki-san?" He asked.

Muraki blinked confusedly at Tsuzuki, who was sitting on the ground next to him, panting. Muraki knelt besides him and worriedly ran his fingers through Tsuzuki's hair in a soothing gesture. "Are you alright?" He asked.

Tsuzuki was anything but all right. He was too tired to knock Muraki's hands away, and he didn't know how long Tatsumi would be haggling with that woman. He managed an unintelligible moan. Muraki patted his cheek, trying to figure out what to do. 

Suddenly Tsuzuki was swept up in a pair of strong arms. Having recovered enough yell, he did so. "Hey!" He struggled, and was rewarded for his efforts by being dropped. "Don't do that!"

Muraki gave him an amused half-smirk. "Why, you seem to be better now." He reached out a hand to help Tsuzuki up. Tsuzuki struggled up using a stone for support. 

"Shall we go shopping?" The doctor asked. Tsuzuki felt his eyes dilate. If Tatsumi and Muraki ran into each other . . .

Before he could protest, Muraki was already walking into the crowd, forcing Tsuzuki to run to catch up with him. Muraki paused at a few stalls to glace at their wares, giving Tsuzuki enough time to formulate another plan on how to distract Muraki.

What was it that Muraki liked? Tsuzuki tried to call up the last time they were on a date, but because he had been too worried about Hisoka, he hadn't actually paid attention to the psycho doctor.

He glanced around hurriedly. This fair had 'everything'. The closest sections were the ones for clothes (which he would keep Muraki away from), toys, and games. He didn't see anything that Muraki might like . . . wait! Muraki had taken him to an antique store where he went on about dolls. And there a little farther from here was a stand with multitudes of antique dolls. 

Tsuzuki personally found someone who would sell dolls for a living just as creepy as one who collects them.

Just as Muraki was about to move along and inevitably miss the dolls, Tsuzuki grabbed his sleeve, and tugged him towards the toys. Muraki, after standing still for several minutes, followed Tsuzuki.

Muraki's eyes misted over as he saw the antique dolls. He gave Tsuzuki a smile that was surprisingly not predatory. "You remembered." The smile then became anything but benign. "You were paying attention back then. Is there a motive behind this?" Tsuzuki felt the bile in his stomach rise. 

"No!" Tsuzuki denied a bit too quickly.

Muraki smirked at him for a few moments longer than necessary, then happily crouched before a doll and examined it. After Muraki had spent a couple of minutes fawning over the dolls, Tsuzuki turned and hurried off.

Because the clothes section was right by the toy section, Tsuzuki wasn't out of breath when he caught up to Tatsumi. However, he was surprised when Tatsumi turned. He froze, praying that Tatsumi hadn't noticed his absence.

Tatsumi hadn't. He turned and dumped the shirts he had bought with Tsuzuki's paycheck into Tsuzuki's arms.

"There. Now we just need someone to tailor them down to your size." Tatsumi smiled gently at Tsuzuki. "I'm sure Wakaba-chan has some experience. If not, I have had to sew before." With that, Tatsumi led Tsuzuki away.

"Are you thirsty?" Tatsumi asked. "I think I noticed a stall that was serving free tea." He promised Tsuzuki. "Do you want to stop for a quick break?" Tatsumi, acting surprisingly (and suddenly) chivalrous, helped Tsuzuki carry the shirts.

"Sure," Tsuzuki replied warily. Tatsumi never acted this nice. 

When they got their tea, Tatsumi automatically stirred in a few spoonfuls of sugar for Tsuzuki. After handing the cup to Tsuzuki, Tatsumi sipped his own bitter tea.

"It appears your idea of shopping at the fair is at an end." Tatsumi admonished Tsuzuki gently. "They do not appear to stock up on toiletries on a regular basis." Tatsumi considered Tsuzuki for a few moments. "Later today we should go to the Super Market to purchase more items for yourself. Does that sound good to you?"

  
Tsuzuki didn't really see why he couldn't use Tatsumi's things, but the secretary was looking at him with the calm expression he wore just before an outburst, so he nodded anyways. Smiling gently, Tatsumi pinched his cheek and pulled. "Very well then. Shall we spend the rest of the afternoon here?" Tsuzuki nodded in pain. Tatsumi, still smiling, let go of his cheek.

While Tsuzuki was rubbing the abused flesh, someone chose that moment to run into Tatsumi and spill her ice cream on his suit jacket.

Tatsumi froze, his face darkening as he stared through Tsuzuki. As if knowing what was to come, the little girl ran away, leaving Tsuzuki to deal with Tatsumi. Tsuzuki helplessly tried to wipe the ice cream off of Tatsumi's jacket, but only ended up smudging it in further.

Tatsumi grasped Tsuzuki's wrist in a firm grip. "Please don't concern yourself with this, Tsuzuki-san." Tatsumi's voice was creepily calm. "Please excuse me for a few minutes." Very calmly, the secretary walked away, wondering who in the world would eat ice cream before it was lunch.

Tsuzuki gulped down the rest of his tea before sprinting back to the stand that was selling antique dolls. 

He didn't get there a moment too soon, as at the moment he stopped running, Muraki turned to address him. "Which do you prefer?" The doctor asked, offering him two dolls. "The white one, or the dark one?"

Tsuzuki was catching his breath, and when he tried to answer, all that would come out were unintelligible gasps. Muraki frowned but nevertheless bought both dolls.

"Tsuzuki-san, what shall we do now?" Muraki asked casually. Tsuzuki shook his head, his breathing becoming more regular. Muraki fingered his chin as he observed the rest of the fair. Then, he happily turned to Tsuzuki. "Do you like games?" He asked. Tsuzuki froze, worried of what was coming next. Muraki reached out and grasped the fabric of his sleeve. "Come, it might be entertaining."

Tsuzuki, arm out-stretched, followed Muraki to one of the counters. Tsuzuki immediately paled when he saw what 'game' Muraki had in mind. 

"Kingyo sukui. A game that tests the patience of the player." Muraki smiled viciously. "Have you ever played this?" Tsuzuki wordlessly shook his head. Muraki's eye seemed to glint. "Why don't you try then?" Muraki asked.

Before Tsuzuki could protest, Muraki handed him a paper scoop. "Don't worry, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki breathed into his ear. "This will be fun." Tsuzuki flinched at the words of doom. Muraki gestured at the tank invitingly, a hand tracing the back of Tsuzuki's thigh.

Warily, Tsuzuki knelt besides the ominous tank, and accepted the plastic bag of water the concessionaire handed him. He started to get dizzy watching the fish swim. Suddenly, a cool hand slid around his wrist.

"You're holding this wrong." Muraki murmured into Tsuzuki's ear. "Here, allow me . . ." The fingers adjusted his own before resting on his wrist. 

Trying to breathe like a normal person who didn't have a psycho doctor nearly pressed up against his back, Tsuzuki closed his eyes and prayed for strength. Shaking his wrist did nothing to dislodge the fingers, but when he moved his arm over the tank, the fingers reluctantly let go.

In the new, awkward position his fingers were in, Tsuzuki dipped the paper scoop in the tank, and flipped it under a goldfish.

There was a splash as the scoop broke the surface of the water, levering the golden fish out of it's former home.

When he felt a hand gently curl around the one that held the bag, Tsuzuki forced his eyes open, praying that he hadn't just levered the fish to it's death.

A long fingered hand gently ruffled his hair. The words, "Very good, Tsuzuki-san." Were breathed into his ear. 

Slowly Muraki detangled the plastic bag from Tsuzuki's fingers and tied it with the ribbon the concessionaire handed him. After he finished tying the bag shut, Muraki, with a rather satisfied smirk, handed it to Tsuzuki. "Tsuzuki-san, your reward for playing." 

Tsuzuki, coming out of his daze, shook his head. "No." He shook himself. "No, you keep it." Muraki only smiled.

"A gift?" He asked happily. "Why, thank you Tsuzuki-san. I did not expect this of you." Muraki gave him a lecherous grin.

"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki's grin became innocent again. "What shall we do next?" 

"Bathroom!"

Muraki smiled knowingly. "Very well. I shall wait near here for you." Muraki promised. Tsuzuki ran towards the bathroom, leaving Muraki smirking by the stand.

Just as he got there, he slammed into something that gave a loud grunt. Tsuzuki found himself on the ground, his tailbone in pain, his eyes blinking up at the figure he had run into.

Tatsumi smoothed the wrinkles in his suit and straightened his glasses. "Tsuzuki-san," He said with surprising calmness for one who had just been used as a brick wall. "I do apologize for taking so long, but the place was rather . . . it had more to be desired for in cleanliness."

Tatsumi kindly helped Tsuzuki up. Brushing his smudged clothes off, Tsuzuki glanced at Tatsumi's shoulder where the ice cream had fallen. Other than a wet spot, the suit seemed clean enough. Then again, Tatsumi had spent quite a long time in the bathroom . . .

"Shall we leave this area, Tsuzuki-san?" And without waiting for an answer, Tatsumi was already walking away, leaving Tsuzuki no choice but to hurry after him.

The sweet smell of lunch cooking brought Tatsumi to a halt. He paused and inhaled; remembering that the last time he had eaten was a few scant moments before Tsuzuki had awoken at eight-thirty. He would have continued eating had Tsuzuki not crashed through the door in a rush to the bathroom.

Now, several hours later, his stomach decided to remind him that it hadn't really eaten then. Now was a perfect time to sit down and eat. The fact that the food here was cheap made things only more appealing.

He was about to turn and ask Tsuzuki if he felt like eating lunch with him when Tatsumi had the unexplainable sensation of someone running him over. From his position with his face in the ground and feet painfully on top his spine, he was certain that some demon had decided to try to attack him. There was no option left but to retaliate.

That was, until Tsuzuki leapt off of him and knelt next to him, apologizing profusely. Though Tsuzuki had enough manners to help him up, Tatsumi still felt insulted that Tsuzuki had just used him as a doormat. 

Tatsumi's upbringing came through, and although he gave Tsuzuki a rather dirty glare, he still was able to growl, "Would you like to have lunch with me?"

Tsuzuki instantly lit up; either not noticing or ignoring the look Tatsumi was giving him. "Really?" He asked. "Yay! Tatsumi's the best!" Tsuzuki, deep in euphoria, latched on a disgruntled Tatsumi's arm. "Where do you want to eat?" Tsuzuki asked. "That Chinese place over there?"

As Tsuzuki's budget was tied up with simply purchasing supplies, Tatsumi ended up paying for their meals. They sat down at a conveniently unoccupied table before eating. Unfortunately, as Tsuzuki finished early and Tatsumi gave him a dark look when he was about to ask for more, he was forced to steal from Tatsumi's plate. 

Tatsumi was a rather good sport about it and pretended he didn't notice his food was being eaten quicker than it should have been.

After they finished, Tatsumi was gracious enough to carry their trays over to throw away the boxes the food had come in.

Tsuzuki watched him as he left, and was somewhat relieved to see that there was a long line to the trash bins. Tatsumi stood at the end, tapping his foot impatiently. 

Though Tsuzuki was worried about the fact that so many people were by the trash bins, he hurried away.

He almost made it out of the food area when someone grabbed his arm, forcing him to a halt. He turned to yell at the person, but the words died in his throat when he saw who it was.

Muraki gave him a knowing look. "Tsuzuki-san. After you didn't return, I had thought you had gotten . . . lost." The lips curved into the semblance of a smile. "Though, I suppose I can understand. When one such as yourself is hungry, it gives one such as myself so many options." Tsuzuki didn't want to think about what Muraki could be thinking about. "Shall we eat lunch?" Muraki asked graciously.

Tsuzuki was about to tell him that he wasn't hungry, but he caught himself. Muraki could get suspicious if he wasn't, and Tsuzuki really didn't want Muraki to find out about Tatsumi. Or vice-versa.

"Alright." Tsuzuki agreed nervously. Thankfully, Muraki didn't guess the real reason for his nervousness and walked with him back to the food area.

"What shall we eat?" Muraki asked fingering his chin. The rows of cheap cuisine were not on his list of favorite foods. Then he spotted a stand selling semi-decent Italian food. "Tsuzuki-san, do you like Italian food?" Muraki asked. Tsuzuki, who had been about to run away to Tatsumi, stopped dead in his tracks.

"Yes?" Tsuzuki hadn't quite caught the question. He grew wary when Muraki smiled at him. 

"Good. I do believe you will enjoy this." Tsuzuki's eyes grew big, wondering what he had just agreed too. When Muraki deftly slid his hand around Tsuzuki's, it only heightened his mental picture of what he might have agreed to.

Muraki deposited him in front of the Italian food stand. "Tsuzuki-san, what would you like?" He asked, eyeing the menu with interest.

"Uh . . ." Tsuzuki looked at the menu, which was all in Italian. He had no idea what any of it was saying, much less what he would like. "I mean, uh . . ."

Muraki ordered something, what ever it was; Tsuzuki couldn't make out what he said. Seeing Tsuzuki still staring confusedly at the menu, Muraki's mouth twisted in a dangerous smirk. "Tsuzuki-san. If you are having trouble deciding, we could share my order." Tsuzuki nodded.

Because Tsuzuki was still looking at the menu, he missed the victorious grin that flashed across Muraki's face. By the time he looked up, Muraki looked as impeccable as ever. After they gotten their meal, Muraki led Tsuzuki to an isolated table in the shade, where Tsuzuki discovered his next few problems.

He couldn't use forks. He also had never eaten foreign food before. At least he could deal with the sauce that contained chunks of meat that was spatter generously over the yellow worm-like noodles.

The only problem was the fork.

Not noticing Muraki's expression of anticipation, Tsuzuki gingerly picked up the plastic item like he would a knife he was planning on using to stab something. Burring the end into the spaghetti, he twisted.

In a feat that no one other than Tsuzuki could manage, the fork spun out of his hand. It twisted in the air, bits of sauce, meat, and spaghetti still stuck on the end. The single strand of spaghetti flew off the end to land on Tsuzuki's face, splattering him with what little sauce remained on it. The fork spun while splattering precious droplets of sauce into their water glasses. The fork, it's path upward done, fell back down.

It splashed into Muraki's glass of water with a precision that only Terazuma could match, knocking the glass over. The water ran in rivulets off the table, miraculously missing Muraki who was watching the spectacle with an amused expression only he could display.

"You seem to have difficulties using these utensils." Tsuzuki wondered if Muraki was trying to make a joke. "Here, allow me to assist you." Muraki twirled his fork in the mass of noodles and held it before Tsuzuki's mouth. "Open wide." Muraki suggested. 

Tsuzuki glared at him, grabbing the proffered fork, and bit into the food. It was a shame that he had bit down a little too hard, because the plastic fork broke, the prongs still in his mouth. He retched and the mass of food contaminated by the plastic and his saliva lay on the ground.

Muraki chuckled lightly. "A little bit hungry?" He asked. He rescued Tsuzuki's fork from his glass. "Perhaps it is better if I feed you." He repeated the procedure and before Tsuzuki could protest, pressed the noodles into Tsuzuki's mouth. "Does it taste good?" Muraki asked. Tsuzuki choked the noodles down. Taking that as a positive response, Muraki proceeded to force feed Tsuzuki lunch.

It was either choke or swallow. Tsuzuki, who thankfully was still somewhat hungry, chose the latter, pointedly ignoring Muraki's smirk of conquest.

As the plate became less than half-full, Tsuzuki was finally able to stop Muraki from shoving food into his mouth by grabbing his arm. 

"No . . . more . . ." Tsuzuki gasped. Muraki, either because he had already had his fun, or because he was hungry, nodded and finished eating the plate. He, having skill with western utensils, finished what was left quickly, and graciously stood in line to the trash bins.

Tsuzuki leaned back and relaxed contentedly against the chair. Because his stomach felt like it was going to burst, he was lucky that Muraki, like Tatsumi had decided to throw their trash away . . .

Tsuzuki's eyes snapped open, and he toppled over the chair he was sitting in. He had forgotten about Tatsumi! He ran towards the trash bins as quickly as his enlarged stomach would let him. As he ran, he tried to picture what Tatsumi's and Muraki's meeting would be like, but for some reason, the only mental image he could pull up was the smoldering ruins of Tokyo.

Tsuzuki saw a blurred brown out of the corner of his eye. He turned, and smacked into a telephone post.

***

The world, instead of spinning, was simply fading in and out of a purplish haze. Therefore it took Tsuzuki a while to realize that there was someone holding his head and talking to him. It took him even longer to make out the features of that person.

"T-Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki asked. For some reason, his jaw didn't seem to want to work. "Is that you?" His jaw gave a loud pop and he was able to speak more easily.

"Tsuzuki-san, please be calm. We're in the medical center for the fair." Tatsumi explained hurriedly, brushing his hair out of his face. "Are you feeling better, Tsuzuki-san?"

Tsuzuki started to nod, but because his head hurt and his vision swarm, he decided on a verbal response. "Yeah, I guess so." Tatsumi gave him a look that doubted Tsuzuki's sanity.

"Why don't we rest here a little longer?" Tatsumi suggested after watching Tsuzuki for several moments. "When you feel up to moving your head, we can leave." Tsuzuki started to nod, but as that was a mistake, settled for grunting instead.

Several minutes passed in silence. Tsuzuki was getting really comfortable lying on the cot. Tatsumi was gazing off into the distance, a pensive expression on his face. "Say, Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi sighed.

When Tatsumi hadn't gone on, Tsuzuki turned, happy to find that his head didn't hurt as much. "Yes?"

"You haven't been having much fun here, have you?" Tatsumi asked, still not looking at him. "First you listen to me as I haggle, then wait as I try to wash my jacket, and just then when I was trying to dispose of our waste products," Tatsumi seemed to be laughing at himself.

Tsuzuki sat up, happily noticing the room only spun a little. "Don't worry, I wasn't that bored, I was-" And he stopped right there in mid-sentence. He had just almost told Tatsumi about Muraki!

"You were what?" Tatsumi asked, watching Tsuzuki apprehensively. 

Tsuzuki tried to figure out what to say. "I was . . . watching Blue Jays!" He said quickly. "I was watching Blue Jays, and when I saw you weren't there, I would try to find you, thinking that I had gotten you angry . . ." He stopped when he saw Tatsumi's incredulous expression.

"Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi said appallingly. "That bird doesn't exist in Tokyo!" He checked Tsuzuki's eyes as Tsuzuki went through a mental panic session.

"Birds?" Tsuzuki's voice wavered. "I meant the people!"

"Maybe you hit your head too hard." Tatsumi, seeing that Tsuzuki's eyes were normal (okay, just pretend purple eyes are normal), leaned back from his examination. "Are you feeling better? Would you prefer to go home and rest?" Tatsumi asked.

"Yes and no." Tsuzuki reassured him. Though it was rather tempting, he didn't want to think about what Muraki would do if he figured out Tsuzuki had just left him. 

Tatsumi looked like he was about to protest, but Tsuzuki shook his head vigorously. "Please don't worry. I'll be fine."

Tatsumi gave him a concerned look as he helped Tsuzuki off of the cot. They headed out the medical tent and back into the fair.

Seeing that Tsuzuki didn't appreciate the bright sunlight as much as he did before he collided with a telephone booth, Tatsumi led him over towards the food area again. "Would you like some ice cream?" Tatsumi asked when Tsuzuki hadn't said anything.

Tsuzuki immediately lit up like a light bulb. "Yes!" He cheered. "Lucky!" Tatsumi smiled at Tsuzuki's reaction. 

Tsuzuki studied the flavors, and at length, settled on chocolate. As they walked away, Tsuzuki finally noticed something was amiss.

"Tatsumi, you didn't get any." Tsuzuki accused. "Why not?"

Tatsumi gave Tsuzuki a look. "I did not find the desert attractive." Tatsumi replied evenly. Tsuzuki blinked his large purple eyes at Tatsumi.

"Try some!" Tsuzuki held the ice cream before Tatsumi's face. "Please!" Tsuzuki begged. Tatsumi waved the cone away. 

"No, it is quite alright."

Tsuzuki opened his mouth to beg some more, but suddenly found his hand holding on to air. Assuming he dropped it, Tsuzuki looked down; hoping that the ice cream was still edible, as Tatsumi probably wouldn't buy him another one.

He found it, but it was in the mouth of a little puppy. Forgetting about the fact that his desert was currently being eaten, Tsuzuki let out a rather high pitched 'Cute!' and, much to Tatsumi's chagrin, knelt before the young dog. 

After finishing off his ice cream cone, leaving the chocolate ice cream to melt on the grass, the puppy started licking Tsuzuki energetically. 

Tatsumi shook his head, thinking of the large amount of money that would be added to his water bill from trying to wash all the dirt and saliva out of Tsuzuki's clothes.

When it heard a high-pitched voice calling for it, the puppy jumped off Tsuzuki and ran into Tatsumi before hurtling in the opposite direction the voice was coming from.

A ten-year-old boy came running up to them. "Misters, did you see my dog?" The boy asked breathlessly.

"The puppy?" Tsuzuki asked. The boy nodded. "It ran away." Tsuzuki pouted mournfully.

"Will you help me catch him?" The boy asked. "Please?"

"Well," Tatsumi crouched before the boy, adjusting his glasses. "This seems to be your problem. Though I understand your desire to find your puppy, it would be rather inconvenient for us to do this." Tatsumi rubbed his hands together greedily. "What would we get if we helped you?" He asked, his glasses glinting.

Tsuzuki blinked at Tatsumi in shock. He never knew Tatsumi would demand a bribe from a child. 

The child was surprised as well. "I think I have some yen . . ." The boy held aloft 1000 yen. "It's my allowance." Tatsumi frowned at the pathetic offering of money. But still . . . it was enough to make up for Tsuzuki's lost ice cream, and a little of their lunch. 

"Very well." Tatsumi nodded graciously. "We will assist you in your endeavor." The boy cheered at this.

"Tsuzuki-san, you shall search by the food area. The young man will continue searching the area outside, and I shall look into the booths, to see if the dog is hiding." Tatsumi gave Tsuzuki a gentle smile before turning and hurrying off to the exit, the boy following him.

"There you are." Tsuzuki whirled to confront Muraki. "I suppose I did take long, but you could have waited a few minutes longer." Muraki appraised Tsuzuki for a while longer, his face expressionless.

"Say, Tsuzuki-san," Muraki smiled mischievously. "Why don't we get ice cream?" When Tsuzuki hesitated, he pointed out. "Most couples eat sweets after a meal."

"Sure," Tsuzuki replied happily, temporarily forgetting that it was Muraki who was inviting him out for food. "I like ice cream!" He informed Muraki (needlessly) cheerfully as they walked towards the ice cream booth.

Thankfully, the concessionaires didn't recognize him. Tsuzuki ordered happily, not noticing that Muraki didn't order anything.

Of course Tsuzuki discovered this when Muraki happily decided to 'share' his desert. When Tsuzuki stopped eating, watching with an incredulous expression on his face at Muraki, who delicately lick the sugary mass, Muraki stopped as well.

"I don't suppose you would mind sharing with me?" Muraki asked innocently, smiling gently. Tsuzuki, belatedly remembering that Muraki had gotten him his ice cream, nodded reluctantly. Muraki smiled and licked once more, before urging Tsuzuki to do the same.

Tsuzuki was starting to feel dizzy. He thought that maybe it was a sugar rush, but he felt less in the lines of 'energetic', and more in the lines of 'sick'. For several moments, he contemplated telling Muraki. However, he remembered the last time he had been 'sick', and decided against it.

Muraki noticed Tsuzuki's pained expression, and carefully cupped Tsuzuki's cheek. "Tsuzuki-san? Are you feeling well?" Muraki asked softly. Tsuzuki sighed and pressed his head into the pleasantly cool palm.

Muraki looked worried. "Shall I take you home, Tsuzuki-san?" He asked. "I suppose we could reschedule our date." Muraki walked around the table so he could help Tsuzuki up.

Tsuzuki leaned forward into Muraki's arms, and suddenly he found that his stomach was feeling much better. His shirt and pants didn't feel so tight around his stomach, and he felt more joyously alive than he had in the past several minutes.

Muraki was feeling quite the opposite. He blinked slowly, staring through Tsuzuki as if he wasn't there. Then again Tsuzuki didn't want the center of his attention, if not more so in that moment.

Tsuzuki was comforted by the fact that Muraki wouldn't be able to send him the bill for the dry cleaners to get the half digested mass off his formerly pure white trench coat.

They stayed in their respective positions for several seconds. Finally, Muraki excused himself and left.

"Tsuzuki-san!" Tsuzuki jerked around as Muraki's white back disappeared in the crowd. Tatsumi, holding the struggling puppy strode towards him. "I caught it!" Tatsumi held the whining puppy several inches away from him. 

"Yay?" Tsuzuki asked hesitantly. The boy found them.

"You caught him!" The boy cheered. "Thank you!"

"Don't worry about thanking us." Tatsumi said kindly. Tsuzuki was about to go when he realized Tatsumi was once again adjusting his glasses meticulously. "However, I do believe you owe us?"

The boy reluctantly held out his allowance money, which Tatsumi graciously accepted. Then the boy ran off, the puppy still struggling frantically.

"Tatsumi . . . you just took money from a kid." Tsuzuki pointed out. Tatsumi gave him a surprised look.

"Does that bother you?" Tatsumi asked. Tsuzuki nodded and shrugged at the same time. Tatsumi sighed patiently. "Because the child let the puppy escape, the puppy ruined not only your desert, but our time together. It is only fair that the child make up for it." Tatsumi fingered the yen thoughtfully. "Would you like more ice cream?" He reluctantly offered Tsuzuki.

Much to Tatsumi's disbelief, Tsuzuki shook his head emphatically. "No!" At Tatsumi's shocked expression, Tsuzuki elaborated. "I got most of the ice cream you had given me already." He wasn't going to explain that it as for the rest of his lunch wound up on Muraki's trench coat. "Besides, you cherish your money, I don't want to waste it on me." Tsuzuki thought he could see an emotion flickering on Tatsumi's face, but the secretary suppressed it quickly. "Well, let's go!" Tsuzuki thought he might have heard Tatsumi say something, but he was already out of earshot, forcing the secretary to hurry after him.

"Tsuzuki-san, do you really think that I-" Tatsumi cut himself off. Tsuzuki turned to scrutinize him more carefully.

"Do I think what?" He asked, blinking his large purple eyes at Tatsumi innocently. "Tatsumi?"

Tatsumi, assaulted by these overlarge eyes, swallowed a lump that had somehow formed in his throat. When he tried to speak, his voice came out an octave higher than normal. "Tsuzuki-san, I-" And that was as far as he got before some crazed female interrupted him.

"It's you!" She screamed, launching herself at Tatsumi, while rudely shoving Tsuzuki out of the way.

"What?" Tatsumi demanded to know. Shoving Tsuzuki in front of him was like asking for a death warrant.

"Wai!"

"What!"

"I found you Wai!"

"What!!

"After all these many years of being separated, I finally found you, my love, my one and only!"

"What!!!"

Once Tsuzuki managed to pick himself of the ground, he saw a familiar white figure moving through the crowds towards him. He glanced at Tatsumi, whose face had gone red as he was trying to detangle himself away from the woman. In this situation, there was only one thing Tsuzuki could do. 

He ran.

"Tsuzuki-san!" Tatsumi called out after him. "Wait! This is not what it appears to be!" Tatsumi watched hopelessly as Tsuzuki's black clad back disappeared into the crowd, leaving him alone with a woman who was currently trying to unbutton his shirt.

"Will you stop that?" He demanded of her.

After running into and nearly knocking over an insurance salesman, Tsuzuki finally caught up to the psycho doctor. Only, something was missing.

"What happened to your trench coat?" Tsuzuki asked by way of greeting. Muraki gave him an impenetrable look.

"Hello Tsuzuki-san." Muraki greeted him. "As you should recall, you had an accident on it." Tsuzuki, remembering that, blushed horribly.

Well, not too horribly. Muraki smiled and chuckled at him, brushing a hand against his burning flesh. "Very beautiful." He commented, stroking his thumb along Tsuzuki's cheekbone. (Is he trying to distract Tsuzuki?)

Tsuzuki jerked his head away, unnerved by the doctor's continued advances. Muraki didn't resist and simply smiled and tugged at Tsuzuki's arm. "There was a wonderful art gallery a little ways away. Would you like to accompany me there?" Muraki asked sweetly.

Art seemed safe enough. Then again, this was the man who could make him go red with only a wine glass. Still, it was better than other places Muraki might insist they visit. Tsuzuki forced a nod.

Holding on to Tsuzuki's arm, Muraki threaded through the crowd to a spot near the end of the fair. Tsuzuki was worried that there seemed to be far less crowded than the rest of the fair, but when he saw the art dealers talking with their few customers, he was somewhat relieved. Whatever Muraki could do to him, it was less likely he would do it with an audience.

"Yes, Van Gogh. He is a favorite of mine." Muraki nearly purred into Tsuzuki's ear as they stood before a large painting. Muraki slid his hands over Tsuzuki's back to rest on his shoulders and pressed his cheek lightly against the side of Tsuzuki's head. "Do you like it?" Muraki's breath wafted across Tsuzuki's cheek.

"It's okay . . ." Tsuzuki hardly noticed the painting, too caught up in trying to struggle free of Muraki's embrace. After feeling Tsuzuki struggle against him for a long, happy minute, Muraki relaxed his embrace enough for Tsuzuki to burst free.

Muraki shifted his attention to another painting. "Tsuzuki-san, did you know-" Tsuzuki took the break from Muraki's attentions to try to hurtle away. He managed to get past the art stand when he nearly ran into Tatsumi again.

"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki squeaked. "You're here!" Tatsumi didn't seem to notice his look of horror.

"Yes, I managed to convince that young woman that I was not her missing beloved one." Tatsumi replied. Mistaking Tsuzuki's look of disbelief, Tatsumi elaborated. "I convinced her by the fact he had a rather prominent birth mark on his chest. That and he never had any mathematical sense."

"That's good!" Tsuzuki said painfully, feeling sick. He could still faintly hear Muraki's voice from behind a painting. "Why don't we go away from here?" He suggested quickly, trying to fake a cheerful demeanor.

"If you insist . . ." Tatsumi glanced across the stall. "Oh, this is the art section?" He commented ignoring the fact that Tsuzuki was yanking on his arm with enough force to dislocate his shoulder. 

"Yes . . ." Tsuzuki yanked with all his might, and succeeded in pulling Tatsumi off balance. Tatsumi, his eyes as wide as when the woman had accosted him earlier, fell forward, his arms immediately grabbing the nearest objects for support.

If he had been in any other situation than the one he was in, Tsuzuki would have blushed. Tatsumi's head lay on his chest, and his body over Tsuzuki's, pinning him to the ground. When he had grabbed Tsuzuki, he had accidentally yanked open Tsuzuki's trench coat, and undone Tsuzuki's tie (nearly strangling Tsuzuki in the process). All in all, they were getting rather strange looks from the crowd near them.

Tsuzuki would have been very uncomfortable about this, if he couldn't see Muraki's feet and legs under a painting stand. He was panicking, and that reason had little to do with his and Tatsumi's predicament.

Tsuzuki was brought back to reality when he heard Tatsumi profusely apologizing. Tatsumi helped Tsuzuki up, and brushed off the dirt from Tsuzuki's coat. "I . . . am very sorry, Tsuzuki-san." He apologized again.

"Uh, no, it's my fault." Tsuzuki made a soothing motion with his hand. 

Tatsumi forced a smile and nodded. "Shall we visit the art section and then leave?" Tatsumi asked. "We both have had a rather full day." Tsuzuki nodded, trying to formulate a plan on escaping so he could remind Muraki that he now owed the doctor nothing.

Tatsumi smiled and then led Tsuzuki away from the stand that Muraki was at. Tsuzuki couldn't help but sigh in relief.

Wait, no, something was not right.

They turned around a stand, and then Tatsumi stopped to glance at some paintings. Tsuzuki's feeling of dread increased as he moved away, muttering about horrible prices. This place was ever so slightly familiar . . . 

It took another glance as Tatsumi moved further down the isles for Tsuzuki to notice the white figure standing directly across from Tatsumi.

Slamming a palm to his head, Tsuzuki tried to decided whether it would be safer just running away now, or trying to coax one of the men away from the other. (Run Tsuzuki!)

Tatsumi shifted again, and stood not quite so directly behind Muraki. Maybe if he just pretended like everything was going well, they would pass each other without even noticing.

He still wished he wasn't in such a precarious position. Muraki was starting to finish his lecture, giving him little time to coax either man away. Tatsumi's voice rang out excitedly as he saw that the painting was reasonably cheap, proving that he wasn't going to move anytime soon. 

Tsuzuki walked over so he stood between the two men, feeling vibes of doom radiate from both.

"Tsuzuki-san, do you think . . ."

"Tsuzuki-san, wouldn't this . . ."

"Have you ever thought that . . ."

"And look at the price! The price!"

"Say Tsuzuki-san,"

"Tsuzuki-san, I . . ."

With that, both men said something at the same time. Tsuzuki glanced warily from one to the other, wondering why one hadn't noticed the other by then.

He could respond by saying no. That would handle Muraki. But Tatsumi would immediately go into 'scary face mode'. If he said yes . . . A glance at Muraki and a resulting shudder decided it for him.

"Maybe?"

"Good." If Muraki had been facing him, Tsuzuki knew he would have been grinning evilly.

"Good." Tsuzuki knew that Tatsumi would be smiling somewhat gratefully. Maybe he should have said no . . .

"Shall we go?" Tatsumi asked, turning. Tsuzuki, seeing him turn, immediately jumped in front of him to keep him from turning any more. 

"Okay!" Tsuzuki sighed in relief as Tatsumi grasped the fabric of his coat and gently pulled him away.

"Well, I do believe we should be off." The voice cut through Tsuzuki's brain like a knife (All 100%!). Muraki turned enough to see Tsuzuki, grasped his free sleeve cuff, and started moving away from the art center.

In the exact opposite direction that Tatsumi was taking him.

Of course he reached a point where he couldn't stretch any more. It brought Tatsumi to a jerking halt, causing him to nearly slip on the grass. He turned around to make sure Tsuzuki was all right.

Muraki nearly ripped off the sleeve cuff, the unexpected resistance catching him unawares. Muraki twisted around to see what ailed the purple-eyed shinigami.

As Tsuzuki was several centimeters shorter than the other two men, neither had much difficulty seeing the other over the top of Tsuzuki's head. Blue eyes met silver in a clash of dominance. The grips on his wrists tightened painfully. The fabric of his coat was pulled taught. If Tsuzuki had been in any other situation, he might have picked up his feet to see if he could stay like that in mid air.

The word of concern Tatsumi was about to say to Tsuzuki caught in his throat, and the only sound to emerge was a choking one of surprise. The secretary's eyes were as hard as glass as he glared with an intensity he had never shown to Tsuzuki right over Tsuzuki's head.

Muraki met that glare with a cool calculating one of his own. From Tsuzuki's vantage point, he could see that the doctor's mouth was twitching somewhere between a dangerous sneer and a dark grin. 

Finally, it was Tatsumi who broke the deadly silence, which had settled between them. "Doctor." As he said the word, the shadow by the stand flickered. "If I may ask, what are you doing here?" Tsuzuki decided it was better not to look at Tatsumi's face. The expression on it was scaring him.

Muraki's eyes flashed darkly. "I could ask you the same, Tatsumi-san." Tsuzuki wondered how he could meet Tatsumi's eyes with the expression on Tatsumi's face. "I do believe you are interloping on Tsuzuki and me." Muraki yanked hard on Tsuzuki's arm, forcing the defenseless Shinigami to stumble towards him.

"It is the other way around, doctor. You are quite rudely disturbing my colleague's and my free day." If looks could kill, Muraki would have been dead twice over by then. Tatsumi's grip tightened crushingly around Tsuzuki's wrist as he held on tightly, pulling the limb towards himself. "It would be best if you were to leave us this instant."

"Tatsumi-san, as much as I enjoy your company," As Muraki spoke those words, Tsuzuki wondered if the sarcasm they were laced with was dripping on the floor. "I do have plans for today. Plans that by no means include you." He pulled Tsuzuki's arm even closer to him. "Do us both a favor and leave this place."

Tatsumi's mouth twisted in a reply, as he pulled even tighter on Tsuzuki's arm. However whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a loud, rude ripping noise.

On a good part, the ripping sound had distracted both Tatsumi and Muraki from their 'greetings'. Now both men stared at Tsuzuki in surprise, him being the source of the ripping sound. 

"Let go!" Tsuzuki cried out in horror. Tatsumi complied quickly, jerking back as if Tsuzuki's wrist had turned red hot. Muraki loosened his grip enough for Tsuzuki to jerk his arm away.

Rubbing his wrists, Tsuzuki watched both men warily out of the corners of his eyes. If either said anything and the other listened, then his ruse would be over.

The sleeve of his jacket (the jacket being the only thing he could salvage from his apartment), alighted on the ground while the other sleeve slid low over his wrist.  Tsuzuki's eyes grew big and watery. 

Trying to distract Tsuzuki, Tatsumi crouched low and grasped an abused wrist in a comfortingly loose grip. "Are you alright?" He asked fearfully.

The voice by Tsuzuki's ear made him jump and nearly knock heads with Tatsumi. "Of course not." Muraki chided, lightly running his fingers over Tsuzuki's other wrist. "Why exactly are you here, Tatsumi-san?" Muraki asked dangerously politely. "Attempting to rescue Tsuzuki-san from our date?"

"Date?" Tsuzuki felt his temperature drop. Tatsumi shot Muraki a glare over Tsuzuki's head. "What date? I'm here to help Tsuzuki-san shop."

Muraki stared at Tatsumi for a long moment. " . . . shopping? You and Tsuzuki-san are shopping?" He asked incredulously. "Tsuzuki-san and I are . . ." Muraki shifted his gaze to Tsuzuki. To make things more uncomfortably, Tatsumi scrutinized Tsuzuki as well.

"Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi's voice sounded as if he was trying to restrain the urge to throttle him. "Would you care to explain this?" He asked.

"No?"

"Tsuzuki-san." Muraki's voice hid things Tsuzuki didn't want to think about. "I suppose I will have to figure out something else for you to do as payment." A hand suggestively slid along Tsuzuki's thigh, carefully out of Tatsumi's sightline.

"Tsuzuki-san." Tatsumi wasn't bothering to hide the fact he was angry. "We're going home." Though his grasp wasn't as bone crushing as it had been, it was still rather uncomfortable as the secretary dragged him off.

Muraki gave Tsuzuki a heated look as he watched the Shinigami slide over the ground on his back.

***

Tsuzuki was certain that Tatsumi was angry. As they swerved and barely missed an oncoming car, going about thirty kilometers over the limit, Tsuzuki was very certain that Tatsumi was angry.

It was about then that Tsuzuki remembered something. "Tatsumi?" He asked timidly.

The car nearly toppled as they turned. "Yes, Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi's voice was as strained as the white knuckles that clutched the steering wheel.

"Did you remember to get the shirts?" Tsuzuki asked. (Is he trying to help the situation or make it worse?)

He was nearly thrown through the windshield as Tatsumi's car skidded to a stop. "Shirts?" Tatsumi asked, his anger forgotten. "I left them with you." He informed Tsuzuki, near panicking. "Did you forget . . .?" Tsuzuki's face said it all for him. The car started up, and though it wasn't at the breakneck speed it had been, Tatsumi was still too distracted for it to be safe.

***

It was about nine in the morning when Tsuzuki showed up for work. He wondered why Tatsumi hadn't wakened him this morning. He had gotten used to it in the past week that he had been staying at the secretary's house and when he had waken up ten minutes ago, had been quite disorientated.

"Tsuzuki-san!" The voice cut through his trail of thoughts.

Warily Tsuzuki turned to regard a grinning Tatsumi. "Yes?" He asked nervously. Tatsumi never grinned like that unless . . .

"Tsuzuki-san, I do believe you will find that your former office is currently being used as storage. However, I was able to save you another space. Please follow me." Still smiling benignly, Tatsumi led Tsuzuki down the hall.

When they stopped before the door, Tsuzuki looked at Tatsumi quizzically. Tatsumi nodded indulgently.

The sign had once upon a time said, 'Broom Closet'. However a neat line through the exact center crossed out the words. Underneath the crossed out words 'Tsuzuki's Office' was written in Tatsumi's handwriting.

Another glance at Tatsumi. Another indulgent nod. Tsuzuki shook his head, and carefully opened the door. 

Inside the only thing that would fit was a chair. The walls were barely large enough for his shoulders to fit in. It reminded him eerily of his former apartment.

Tatsumi joyfully handed him a stack of paperwork. "Have fun!" Tatsumi called out, closing the door on Tsuzuki, leaving the purple-eyed shinigami in complete darkness.

(Lesson: Never give the department secretary a need to think of creative ways of revenge.)

***

Tatsumi says:

Appearing before us is not Tatsumi, but Watari (with 003 on his shoulder). In fact, the person beside Watari isn't Tatsumi either. However, before we can figure out who the dark figure is, Watari grabs the camera so it focuses completely on him.

"We're here to tell you something very important." Watari informs us gravely. "Something that I fear several people may be missing." He is obviously getting riled up over this, as 003 is fluttering frantically around him. Watari takes a deep breath before continuing. "Tatsumi, Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and Muraki are not the only men in Yami no Matsuei." (Really?)

Watari starts pacing and accidentally goes off screen while he does this. While he's walking, we can see that the camera is in a laboratory with overflowing beakers and bunson burners. 003 goes off to save a beaker from overflowing into another one.

Watari is speaking while he paces. "For example, look at this whole fan fic! I don't have any lines until the end! Who reads the end! Does anyone except for Tsuzuki, Tatsumi and Muraki get mentioned in this monstrosity? No!" Watari stops to glare at the camera. "I'm getting outdone by a person who disappeared mysteriously in the 2nd manga! Where was Tatsumi when Tsuzuki was possessed and attacking JoOhCho?" Considering his point proven, Watari continues to pace with 003 returning to flutter around him.

He starts to say something else until someone rudely coughs to get his attention. Watari stops puzzled, before nodding in agreement.

"However, I am not complaining next to poor Touda." 

"Don't patronize me." The person we can only assume to be the one from the beginning growls warningly.

Watari shakes his head before leaning in close to whisper secretively into the camera. "The poor guy has nearly no foreign fans." Watari confides. "Just about everyone gets together with Tsuzuki . . . everyone but him that is. He's not happy about this at all."

Watari leans back and smiles cheerfully. "So, we'll accept nearly anything. Go ahead and put us together with Tsuzuki, we won't mind . . . at least he might not, I'd prefer not to, but beggars can't be choosers . . ." Someone wraps a clawed hand into Watari's hair and yanks hard.

The camera is knocked over, and turns off.

Author's notes: Yes, I'm pretty sure Watari does have a decent sized fan club out there. But I needed to work him in somehow. However, poor Touda is barely mentioned at all. And he has the coolest hair adornments ever! Really!

End of part 3


	4. Bake Off

Bake Off

(Or "This is not a rip off of Iron Chef! (And even if it is, can you prove it?)")

Tatsumi sighed restlessly under his covers. The peaceful quietness of his house would only last so long, and so this brief moment of respite should be enjoyed. Unfortunately, with the other occupant over an hour late, Tatsumi was having trouble sleeping. 

Tsuzuki, for the first week he had been living in Tatsumi's house, had always followed him home. Tatsumi never berated him for that, and actually enjoyed the attention. However, once when he had been working late he retuned home to find Tsuzuki camping out on his from step. The purple-eyed male even had a fire, marshmallows and a tent staked up. 

It was then that Tatsumi discovered that Tsuzuki didn't have a key. Ever helpful (probably feeling guilty from sticking Tsuzuki in a broom closet) Tatsumi had surrendered his spare key. And then Tsuzuki went back to the habits he had acquired when he had been living alone.

These days, Tsuzuki was staying out late doing things that Tatsumi was too afraid to imagine. Even with the salary cut he had gotten out of his already cut salary, Tsuzuki still found places that accepted payment in single yen coins. Just yesterday Tsuzuki had stumbled in Tatsumi's house, singing a bar song that had made Tatsumi blush with an intensity never felt before, and then collapsed in a drunken stupor on Tatsumi's kitchen tiles.

Tatsumi sighed in defeat as he shifted in his futon to face the one next to him. It still hadn't been made from when Tsuzuki had stumbled out of it just that morning. The blankets were forlornly strewn across the futon, the pillow in the center of it; the futon itself looked cold, and for all practical reasons shouted the fact that Tsuzuki wasn't where he should be. 

Tatsumi picked his watch up from the pillow, and moved so the moonlight could stream in on it. Sighing, Tatsumi diligently returned it to its place and tried to find a comfortable spot in his warm futon.

Though he was worried, he was also tired. Tatsumi knew that being tired during the workday was like asking someone to fire him. Unfortunately one can only focus on sleep for only so long before they got bored to death. However, being bored was far more preferable to the horrid images that popped into his mind when he though of where Tsuzuki might have run off to.

The door slamming shut jerked Tatsumi out of not only the daze he had been in, but also the futon he had been resting on. As he waited in the eerily silent house, he summoned a shadow to twist about his outstretched arm in anticipation of some psycho killer stumbling through his bedroom door. If he strained his ears, he could hear heavy feet plod towards his room. As door to Tatsumi's room groaned as it slowly opened, he got ready to pounce. 

Tsuzuki, who was barely sober enough to walk, stumbled in. Tatsumi nearly collapsed from relief. 

Tsuzuki, ignoring Tatsumi, nearly tripped on his bedding, before fishing out a discarded shirt of disputed ownership, and disappeared out the door. A few minutes later Tsuzuki returned, wearing only a shirt and boxers, before dumping the clothes he had been wearing at the foot of the futon, collapsing on top of the blankets, and ignoring the pained look Tatsumi was giving him.

Tatsumi waited, but Tsuzuki didn't seem to want to move from his sprawled out position on top of the blankets with his pillow under his stomach. While letting out a sigh of one who has suffered too long for this, Tatsumi moved over to Tsuzuki's bed.

He wasn't exactly gentle when he yanked the pillow out from under Tsuzuki, nor was he kind when he tugged Tsuzuki's head up enough to slip the pillow underneath it. But when he tried to pull the blankets out from an unresisting Tsuzuki, they were as hard to move as if Tsuzuki had simply dumped a load of bricks on them. Tatsumi gave up and settled for wrapping the thick covers around Tsuzuki. Somewhat satisfied with his work, Tatsumi returned to his own futon. Now that he knew Tsuzuki was relatively safe, he could sleep peacefully.

"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki's voice brought Tatsumi attention back to the drunken shinigami. "Are you awake?" Tsuzuki slurred, shifting in his cocoon.

"Yes."

"Did you leave me any food?" Tsuzuki asked hopefully. 

"If you had come home earlier then you might have been able to eat dinner with me." Tatsumi informed Tsuzuki. "By the way, where were you?" Tatsumi asked, hoping Tsuzuki didn't catch any inflection of concern.

"Bathhouse." Tsuzuki shifted, snuggling deeper into his covers.

"A bathhouse?" Tatsumi asked. Well, it did make sense in an odd sort of way. Tsuzuki was clean, if sloppy, and he didn't spend enough time at Tatsumi's house to do anything besides the morning chores. Besides, if Tatsumi referenced to his list of prices (list?), bathhouses were cheap . . .

"It had a bar too." Tsuzuki belatedly added, interrupting Tatsumi's train of thoughts. "Maybe I had a little too much to drink." He admitted around a large belch.

Though Tatsumi agreed with him, he didn't say anything. Instead he was forming a new money-saving plan. "Next time, shall I join you?" Tatsumi asked, eagerly anticipating his water bill going down.

"You wouldn't," Tsuzuki yawned and seemed to find a better position that was not facing Tatsumi. "-Wouldn't like it." Tatsumi waited for Tsuzuki to elaborate, but the only sound to emerge from the opposite side of the room was steady breathing.

"Why not?" Tatsumi finally asked suspiciously. 

"Hnnm?" Tsuzuki asked blearily. All the alcohol he had consumed at the bathhouse wasn't doing wonders for his already tired body.

"Why would I not like the bathhouse?" Tatsumi asked firmly while watching the other man warily.

Tsuzuki shifted again so most of his face lighted by the beam of moonlight Tatsumi's window offered. "It's an adult place." 

Tatsumi stared at Tsuzuki in shock.

***

Hiding in his office, Terazuma shamelessly listened in on Chief Konoe's and Tatsumi's conversation they were having in the hallway. They were discussing Tatsumi's favorite topic, Tsuzuki.

"The broom closet is not a satisfactory place for a shinigami of our department to work!" The chief informed the secretary.

"Unfortunately the only free spaces were the broom closet and the hallway." Tatsumi replied firmly. "I would think you would find it more problematic if Tsuzuki-san was spread out on the floor in front of our offices."

"What's wrong with his office?" Konoe asked exasperated.

"Do you remember the reports we received from the various sections? The _lengthy reports? I suppose we could return them to your office." Tatsumi's glasses glinted as he smiled secretively._

As predicted, Konoe went pale. "I see your point." He condescended. Terazuma nearly burst out of his office to hug Tatsumi. Tsuzuki was stuck in the broom closet! 

"However," Konoe interjected into Terazuma's thoughts. "Tsuzuki needs his own workspace. Just yesterday he was in my office begging for a light bulb." 

"There are no free offices." Tatsumi replied. "There is nothing that we can do to give Tsuzuki-san his own office."

"Then stick him with someone." Konoe suggested. "Do you really need _all that space for your office?" He asked Tatsumi._

Tatsumi nearly laughed. "I suppose that would be possible." He admitted. "Though I am amazed."

Konoe, who had been about to leave, turned back, "Why?" He asked suspiciously.

Tatsumi only smiled back. "I am amazed that you would trust Tsuzuki-san to be around the department bills." He admitted innocently. "Considering his sloppiness, I would personally keep him far away." 

"Fine," Konoe bit out. "Kurosaki-kun doesn't have enough space in his office . . ." He thought for a moment. "Watari?" He suggested.

Tatsumi considered this for a moment. "Assuming the fact that they would be able to get work done together," He began, "Tsuzuki-san would probably become Watari-san's test subject."

"Alright." Konoe though. "Who would Tsuzuki be able to work with?" He asked speculatively. 

Tatsumi adjusted his glasses, and smiled darkly. "I do believe that Terazuma-san has a bit too much space. Though I was planning on cutting his budget, I suppose if we put him and Tsuzuki-san together, our situation will work out." Terazuma, who was still listening, couldn't help but hear this.

To say Tatsumi and Konoe were surprised when Terazuma tore down his door was an understatement. To say Konoe was outraged at being casually shoved aside as Terazuma lunged towards Tatsumi was closer to the truth. 

***

Watari patted his friend awkwardly on the head. Tsuzuki, who had wrapped his arms around the blonde shinigami, was still sobbing uncontrollably into Watari's chest. 

"Don't worry," Watari tried to comfort him. "Tatsumi can't keep you in that horrible place forever." He pointed out. "Just wait until he calms down enough to think rationally."

Tsuzuki looked up from where he had been using Watari's lab coat as a tissue. "Are you sure?" He asked desolately. Watari smiled and nodded. Tsuzuki managed a weak smile, and then blew his nose on Watari's coat. Not noticing Watari's look of disgust, Tsuzuki stood.

He struck a dramatic pose, one arm raised before him in a fist, the other one behind him in a claw. He stared with passion at the corner of Watari's lab where a few spiders survived (somehow) Tatsumi's cleaning sprees.

"You're right Watari!" Tsuzuki shouted dramatically. 003 hid itself in Watari's hair and quivered. "I can do this! We've not only helped old women cross the street, and conducted an investigation in a mall during a clearance sale; we've cleaned a gas station bathroom!" Tsuzuki and Watari shuddered at the thought of doing something like that again. (Tatsumi was not happy when they spent half the department budget on sake and candy) "We can both face the rest of today in a broom closet!" Tsuzuki determinedly strode towards the door.

"That's right Tsuzuki!" Watari clapped Tsuzuki on the back. "Go get them! (There's no 'we' in this one.)"

It was then that the two shinigami heard a loud scream of horror, and then a loud crash. They both sprinted out of Watari's lab and towards the noise.

When they reached the hallway outside Tatsumi's office, they both stopped in shock at the scene they had run into. Terazuma was currently trying to break free of Konoe to attack Tatsumi, who was watching the two men in shock.

"Terazuma!" Tatsumi exclaimed in an outraged voice. "Please desist in your attempts to injure me!"

Watari ran to help Konoe restrain the struggling shinigami. Tsuzuki ran so that he was slightly in front of Tatsumi.

"Terazuma! What's going on?" Tsuzuki asked plaintively. Terazuma glared at Tsuzuki with an intensity that nearly matched the one he had been giving Tatsumi. Tsuzuki, who was used to being glared at by Terazuma, watched him unperturbed.

"Do you have any idea what that . . . man is trying to do?" Terazuma demanded, jerking his head at Tatsumi. Tsuzuki shook his head.

After Terazuma told him, Tsuzuki simply stood there in shock. Terazuma snarled at Tsuzuki to either get out of his way, or do something about their situation. Tsuzuki responded by rolling his eyes to the back of his head and collapsing.

Tatsumi dropped the files he had been holding and catching Tsuzuki just before the purple-eyed shinigami crashed to the cold hard floor. Bills and reports rushed out of the files to flutter around the room.

***

Wakaba was returning from lunch. She was very put out that Terazuma hadn't joined her, even when she had packed a special lunch for him. They had agreed to meet up at a cute little café that she liked. Instead she spent about forty minutes waiting for him to show before he finally had called and told her he had too much work. 

Now, back at the Meifu, Wakaba, intending to give him a piece of her mind, turned to the hallway outside his office, getting ready to yell.

"TERA-" Terazuma's name died on her lips as she observed the scene before her. With Watari and the Chief restraining Terazuma from pouncing on an unconscious Tsuzuki (she didn't see any reason he'd be after Tatsumi), she could only assume that he had been picking on the poor shinigami again. It was a good thing that Tatsumi was there to protect Tsuzuki as Terazuma was doing a rather good job struggling away from the two able-bodied men restraining him.

"Hajime-chan!" She called out distressed, running towards the struggling trio. "I'm sure what ever Tsuzuki-chan did, he's really sorry about it!" She tried to console him.

Watari, dodging a blow to his face, managed to grunt, "It's Tatsumi he's going for."

"Tatsumi?"

"That bastard!" Terazuma snarled at Tatsumi. Tatsumi ignored him and was gently shaking Tsuzuki, trying to get him to respond. 

Wakaba was very confused. "What's wrong with Tatsumi?" She asked. "And if it's Tatsumi, why is Tsuzuki unconscious?" Terazuma only snarled something that was best not heard. Wakaba reached out to pat Terazuma comfortingly, but stopped just in time.

"Why don't we stop and work this out over tea?" Wakaba offered. Terazuma paused while considering this, throwing Watari and Konoe off balance, before shaking his head and continuing. "Hajime-chan!" Wakaba moaned.

"What's going on?" A young adolescent voice asked from down the hallway. Tatsumi looked up from Tsuzuki to see Hisoka standing at the end, looking at the spectacle before them in disbelief.

"Kurosaki-kun." Tatsumi greeted. "Please assist me with Tsuzuki-san. It appears he may not awaken soon. Perhaps he will respond to you." Hisoka, more worried for Tsuzuki than anything else, slid past the struggling group to crouch next to Tsuzuki.

"What happened?" He asked Tatsumi. Tatsumi, who had given up shaking Tsuzuki, simply held his head off the cold floor. 

"I believe he fainted." Tatsumi replied. "He did not appreciate his new office. I had thought he would be pleased to be out of the broom closet."

Hisoka was just about to ask where this new office was. However two female voices cut him off. "Hisoka-kun!" 

Hisoka went pale, his hands grasping Tsuzuki's shirt for support. An instant later, he was nearly knocked over as two warm bodies collided with his own.

"Hisoka!" Said a voice near his left ear. "What's wrong with Tsuzuki?" The voice squealed.

"I don't know!" Said a voice near his right ear. "What will Hisoka do?"

"Let's watch!" The owner of the voice near his left ear snuggled up against his shoulder. 

Hisoka simply sat there in cold shock. However, this did nothing to deter the two Hokkaido girls.

"Check his pulse!" Saya suggested.

"Make sure he's breathing!" Yuma tugged worriedly on Hisoka's arm. "I don't know what we would do if Tsuzuki died!"

Tatsumi spoke up from Tsuzuki's side. "Tsuzuki is already dead." Tatsumi was worriedly brushing the hair out of Tsuzuki's face, not bothering to watch their reactions. 

"No!" Screamed both girls at the same time.

"He can't be! He had so much to live for!"

"What will we do? What will Hisoka-san do? Poor Hisoka!" With that, both girls sympathetically hugged Hisoka, and then buried their faces in his shirt, sobbing much like Tsuzuki had been doing to Watari.

"He's dead!" One cried out.

"Tsuzuki's gone!" The other one chorused.

"Hello!" A voice called out. "We're here for the department review!" And then two people rounded the bend in the corner, and stopped dead in their tracks.

At least their appearance had stopped other things as well. Terazuma had stopped struggling against Konoe and Watari, and the trio stared at the new comers in shock. 

Watari carefully released Terazuma, and shook out his mussed up lab coat (which was still sticky from Tsuzuki's earlier crying fit).

Wakaba stopped placating Terazuma and turned to the two new comers. Shyly smiling, she gave them a little wave.

 The two Hokkaido girls stopped wailing, and though there were still squeaks of half suppressed sobs, they were mostly quiet.

Hisoka, who had been frozen throughout the whole ordeal, didn't change at all.

Tatsumi looked up from Tsuzuki to regard the scene before him. Mentally sighing, he reminded himself not to let his attention get distracted again.

Konoe straightened his suit and tie. Walking over to the two people, he motioned for them to follow him. "Now, I'm sure we can work _something out." He began. Turning around to catch Tatsumi's eye, he made a shooing motion. Tatsumi nodded. "Say, why don't we settle this over some nice sake?"_

"Terazuma-san. Wakaba-san." Tatsumi called out as the chief left. "Please return to your respective offices and remain there for the remainder of the work day." Before either of the two could object, Tatsumi had turned to the Hokkaido girls. 

"Tsuzuki will be alright." He promised them. They stopped short in mid sob.

"Really?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Tatsumi replied. "Please wait in the common room." Tatsumi looked at Hisoka, who was starting to recover from the contact from Yuma and Saya. "Kurosaki-san, Watari-san, please move Tsuzuki into the medical center. Once he awakens, you may return home for the remainder of the day."

No one had moved. Tatsumi sighed, and suddenly gave them his scariest look. "Now." He said in a tone that broke no augments. Everyone moved as if he had threatened to dock the monthly paycheck (though Terazuma took the time to flip Tatsumi the bird). Soon, Tatsumi was alone in the hallway. 

Tatsumi carefully started picking up the reports and bills off the floor, wincing as he noticed several supported dirt smudges.

***

Terazuma glared at Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki glared back, and slid an arm around his pastry protectively. Terazuma extinguished his cigar threateningly. Tsuzuki wrinkled his nose in disgust, but only clutched at his prize more fervently.

"Hajime-chan! Tsuzuki-chan!" Wakaba leaned into the room and smiled happily at the two.

Terazuma grunted in acknowledgment, but Tsuzuki, his pastries momentarily forgotten, smiled and waved. "Wakaba-chan!" He called out across the office. "How's it going?" He asked.

Wakaba smiled and walked up to the two men. "I finally managed to get those reports done. Tatsumi sure is pushing us hard!" She sighed and shook her head wistfully. Tsuzuki nodded in agreement, his eyes going watery at the thought of the unfinished reports he still had to do. Terazuma glared at the space in front of him and grumbled something in agreement.

Wakaba proffered a small basket. "I had some time this morning, so I baked a little something for you, Hajime-chan." She said happily. Terazuma managed a weak smile, accepting the basket. Lifting it up, he inhaled the rich aroma and sighed in appreciation. 

Tsuzuki also sighed. "Ah, Wakaba-chan," He shook his head. "Tatsumi won't let me into his kitchen to cook." He informed her regretfully. He inhaled the aroma wafting from the basket again.

"Good." Terazuma called out from his side. Wakaba, after sampling one of Tsuzuki's biscuits at an office party, was secretly agreeing with Terazuma. 

"Um, yes, what a shame." She agreed weakly with Tsuzuki. 

Terazuma found his cake fork and started in on the delectable food. Wakaba happily smiled at him until she noticed Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki was staring at the cake with the expression of a starving puppy that had been kicked too many times.

"Hajime-chan!" She snapped out under her breath. Terazuma, the bit of cake in front of his mouth, stopped and looked at her in shock. Wakaba jerked her head towards Tsuzuki. Terazuma, knowing what this was leading to, shook his head emphatically. He didn't quite suppress a yelp when she kicked him under the table.

Grinding his teeth, Terazuma pulled back his lips in what could have been a smile. "Sempai . . ." He struggled as he said that. "Would you care to-" He gave Wakaba a 'Do I have to?' look. She nodded, no longer smiling. "-Share this with me?" He spat out in what sounded more like a threat than an invitation. 

Either not getting the threat, or considering himself safe as long as Wakaba was there, Tsuzuki nodded emphatically. Terazuma handed Tsuzuki the fork with the decent sized chunk on it. Wakaba kicked him again. Sighing in defeat, Terazuma slid the basket over to Tsuzuki.

"Oh, guess what?" She asked happily. With bits of Terazuma's cake on his face, Tsuzuki looked up. Terazuma, who had been looking at his desk dejectedly, also looked at her curiously. "Look what I got in the mail today!" She waved an envelope in front of them too fast for either man to make out what it said.

Tsuzuki said something unintelligible around Terazuma's cake. Only a look from Wakaba kept Terazuma from hitting him over the head. "What is it?" Terazuma asked her while glaring at Tsuzuki.

"I won!" She cried out happily.

Tsuzuki tried to say something again. Again, it didn't come out as any sound a human could make.

"What?" Terazuma asked again in exasperation. 

"I can compete in the annual Christmas Meal Contest!" Terazuma gave her a puzzled look. Tsuzuki blinked, finally swallowed the mass of caked, and smiled brightly.

"Oh really!" Tsuzuki grasped Wakaba's hands. "Tatsumi tried to enter that last year, but he didn't get beyond the selecting process."

Terazuma glared at Tsuzuki for interrupting Wakaba. "Process?" He asked Wakaba.

"You have to send in a recipe of your own to the Gourmet Committee, and if it's really good, they'll let you compete!" Wakaba informed Terazuma excitedly. "It's a four day contest. First day, you have to prepare a breakfast, next lunch, then dinner, and finally desert!"

"I watched last year. Someone made some Apple Pie." Tsuzuki, forgetting about his rivalry with Terazuma, wrapped an arm around his archrival's shoulders, drooling at the thought of pie. "And it was brown, and had whipped cream, and chocolate, and apples, and ice cream, and a flaky pie crust and-" Tsuzuki sighed hungrily, drooling on Terazuma's shoulder.

"GET OFF!" Terazuma shoved Tsuzuki hard, causing the purple-eyed man to crash to the floor.

"Hajime!" Wakaba exclaimed. Terazuma trying to wipe the excess drool off his shoulder simply shrugged.

Rubbing his shoulder, Tsuzuki pulled himself back into the chair. "Oh, wait!" He jumped off of the chair, knocking it over. "If you got one, maybe Tatsumi-" Tsuzuki cut himself off as he turned and rushed out of the office leaving a bewildered Terazuma and Wakaba behind.

***

It was a good thing that Tatsumi's door was ever so slightly ajar. When Tsuzuki ran into it, instead of breaking down the door simply banged open. Tsuzuki, who was momentarily stunned from running into the door, tripped over the doorstop and landed on his face just before Tatsumi's desk.

Tatsumi blinked at the dark figure that lay sprawled out on the space before his desk in pure shock. Hurrying around his desk (and silently cursing it for getting in his way) Tatsumi knelt by Tsuzuki's prone figure.

"Tsuzuki-san, are you-" Tsuzuki jumped up, slamming his head in Tatsumi's. Tatsumi jerked away an instant too late, and found himself holding his aching teeth. Tsuzuki moaned, holding his aching head. 

Shaking his head experimentally (and ignoring the rattling sound), Tsuzuki finally managed to look up at Tatsumi.

"Did you get it?" He asked breathlessly.

Tatsumi furrowed his brow. "Did I get what?" He asked.

"The mail! The mail!" 

Tatsumi glanced over to the unopened pile of letters on his desk. "Yes, Tsuzuki-san. I got the mail. May I assume that you came here for a reason other than to ascertain that?"

At that moment Wakaba came in. "Tatsumi-san!" She called out joyously. "Did you get it?" Tatsumi gestured at the table. Wakaba followed his arm. "But did you get 'it'?" She asked emphatically.

"What are the two of you talking about?" Tatsumi asked frustrated. Wakaba waved her acceptance letter at him.

At once recognizing it, Tatsumi spun and rushed the few inches to his desk. He shuffled through the envelopes frantically, bills sliding off on to the floor just before Tsuzuki.

"Here it is!" Tatsumi was not one for bursts of emotions. After he held the envelope aloft, he seemed to calm down. 

"Did you get in?" Tsuzuki asked, jumping up and down. "It may not be like last year." He said. "Or the year before." He added. "Or before that one, and that one . . ." Tsuzuki trailed off as he counted how many years the contest had been running, and how long Tatsumi had been rejected. Tsuzuki proffered fingers before Tatsumi. "It's only been twenty times." He promised the blue-eyed shinigami. "This time's going to be different, I just know it!" 

Tatsumi winced, nodded, and tore open the envelope. While Tsuzuki and Wakaba watched in anticipation, Tatsumi read the letter, nodded to himself, and folded it closed again. He discarded the envelope and placed the letter on the corner of his desk, well out of the reach of either of the two other shinigami. Retreating to the other side of the desk, Tatsumi dug out his account book, and proceeded to flip through the pages rapidly, his mind already back in work mode.

"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki whined at him. "Don't keep us in suspense!" He leaned over Tatsumi's desk, reaching for the letter. Tatsumi quickly snatched it out of Tsuzuki's reach.

"Tsuzuki-san, I regret to inform you that once again you will be seated alone in the audience." Tatsumi told him solemnly. Tsuzuki's face fell noticeably, and he nodded sullenly. "However," Tsuzuki jerked his head up at Tatsumi's voice. "I do hope you will wish me well before I try to use my poor culinary skills to impress the panel of judges." 

Tsuzuki lit up and threw himself across the desk to embrace Tatsumi. Unfortunately Tatsumi's desk was too big; leaving Tsuzuki sprawled out on its surface. Tatsumi frowned down on him. "Tsuzuki-san, if you will excuse me, I need to get some work done today. Wakaba-san, please take him back to his new office." Wakaba gave him an encouraging wink, pulling Tsuzuki out of Tatsumi's office. 

***

Tatsumi once again thanked himself for inviting Hisoka along too. As yet another bar distracted Tsuzuki, it was the youngest shinigami who berated him and dragged him after the other two. 

Watari clapped Tsuzuki on the back encouragingly. "Don't worry, after Tatsumi's finished, we'll all go to the bar." Tsuzuki nodded, giving the bar one last longing glance. 

"No, you won't." Tatsumi promised. "Both of you have had enough alcohol to drown in this morning." Watari stuck his tongue out at Tatsumi's back.

"What's that?" Tsuzuki asked his attention caught by another store. 

This time it was Tatsumi who grabbed him. "Tsuzuki-san, no!" He pulled Tsuzuki away from the offending store. "That store is the women's department!" He chided Tsuzuki while coaxing the man away. "We will arrive at the contest soon." As Tatsumi didn't know exactly where the contest would be held, the whole group was relying on Tsuzuki's directions to get them through the complex. Once again, Tatsumi wondered why they would be holding it in a mall.

"Turn here . . . I think." Tsuzuki pointed towards the restrooms. Tatsumi hit himself on the head and groaned. Watari proffered the directions the letter had provided, and Hisoka tried to interpret them. 

"We were supposed to turn left back there." The group turned around and walked in the direction Hisoka was pointing.

Actually, Tatsumi wondered how they missed it. It was two double doors with in neon green paint, 'Annual Bake Off Contest (contestants enter here)' written across the windows. Slightly perplexed at their inability to notice such things, the group of four shinigami entered the area.

Beyond the doors the room was built like a concert stage where Tatsumi and the contestants would be in full view of everyone from the rows of seats before them.

It turned out that the committee had accepted twice as many contestants as the place could hold, so each person would have to work beside another person. In other words, it was not only a contest to see if you could cook, but also a contest to see if you can keep the other person from sabotaging your culinary masterpiece.

"Don't worry," An administrator said when Tatsumi checked in. "The placement was randomly drawn. Tatsumi-san, your station is . . . let me see," He shuffled through some papers before pointing to a corner. "Right over there." Tatsumi thanked him and went to unpack his supplies. 

"Say, Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki leaned over Tatsumi's worktable. "The administrators let the audience help the contestants (and sample the food). Can I-"

The blue-eyed secretary got a look of panic about him. "No, really Tsuzuki-san, it is quite alright." He made a shooing motion towards the bleachers. "I think Watari and Hisoka are waiting for you." He smiled encouragingly at Tsuzuki.

"Are you sure-"

"Yes." Tatsumi nodded, trying to protect his cooking supplies from Tsuzuki without really looking like it. "You need not be concerned for me." He promised the shinigami. 

Tsuzuki shrugged and turned around, nearly running into an administrator who was leading someone towards them.

"Here is your space." He gestured towards the free area next to Tatsumi. Tatsumi ignored them, arranging his bowls and ingredients to a semblance of order. "Good luck, sensei." The man smiled encouragingly at the new arrival before leaving.

Tatsumi's new neighbor was turned, watching the administrator leave. Starting to turn, he said, "It appears we will be working together," Tatsumi instinctively looked up at the sound of a familiar voice. Tsuzuki, who had maneuvered a few feet away from them, twisted around at the sound of a ceramic bowl clattering on the ground.

Tatsumi was staring at his new neighbor in shock, the hand that had been grasping the bowl now clutched at the air. His mouth was twitching between openmouthed surprise and a snarl.

Muraki was far more composed that the secretary. Instead, he simply blinked twice, shook himself, and warily set his supplies on the table. "Tatsumi-san." He greeted. "You will forgive my manners of course. I must admit, I did not expect to encounter you here."

"Of course not. Nor did I expect you to enter this contest." Tatsumi's face had gone cold and expressionless. Only his eyes had any emotion, and that was the cold fires of hatred.

Tsuzuki was also surprised to see Muraki. "Since when could you cook?" He demanded. Tsuzuki realized his mistake at once as he gained not only Tatsumi's attention, but the doctor's as well. 

"Tsuzuki-san!" Muraki exclaimed happily, his smile showing more teeth than necessary. "Did you come here to watch?" He asked sweetly. Tsuzuki let out a high-pitched whimper, trying to maneuver away. "Or did you come to make up our date?" Muraki asked huskily, moving towards Tsuzuki.

"Please do not aggravate my coworker." Tatsumi hissed, stepping between Muraki and Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki shot him a grateful look, hurrying off to the safety of Watari and Hisoka. Muraki gave Tatsumi a look that bode ill. Muraki glanced once at Tsuzuki's fleeing form, and smiled. 

"Of course Tatsumi-san. Do forgive my manners; I did not expect to behave so rudely." Muraki turned his attention back to their worktable. Tatsumi gave him an evil look, returning to his supplies before Muraki could sabotage them.

Watari once again experienced the sensation of being a human Kleenex. Tsuzuki, wedged safely between him and Hisoka, sniffed fearfully on his lab coat. Hisoka awkwardly patted Tsuzuki on the head. 

"Don't worry, it's only four days." Watari promised. "And if anything goes wrong, we'll know who's behind it." Watari narrowed his eyes as he watched the calm white figure of Muraki, and Tatsumi, who was shaking with suppressed rage. "Look, we're here, Tatsumi's there, he can't do anything with out one of us noticing. And the second one of us sees anything suspicious . . ."

Tsuzuki smiled sickly. "I guess so." Watari grinned and ruffled his hair. Hisoka simply buried his face in his hand and tried to pretend he didn't know the two men next to him.

***

Tatsumi ground his teeth. "Your eggs are burning." He informed the silver haired man, not taking his eyes off his hated enemy.

"I believe your pancakes are done." Muraki said helpfully while matching glares with Tatsumi. His eyed didn't even flicker towards his eggs. 

Tatsumi wrinkled his nose in disgust, but kept his eyes locked on Muraki's. Grinding their teeth, both men glared at each other while their breakfasts tried to combust. 

Suddenly, simultaneously they twirled around and quickly fixed their food. Muraki flipped his bacon and eggs of the skillet, and placed them decoratively around the omelet he had just completed.

Tatsumi had a perfect square of butter on each pancake, and sparingly poured syrup on them. The sausages he had cooked framed the pancakes, and the crushed strawberries he had added gave it an aesthetically pleasing look.

Simultaneously, the two men signaled that they were done. Realizing what they had just done, they glared at each other again.

"I see you barely managed to salvage your eggs." Tatsumi commented bitterly.

Muraki sneered back. "Why, your pancakes don't seem to be too horribly burnt."

While they were sniping at each other, the judge tasted their dishes. "Very good!" He told both of them, startling them. Before they could ask which one he meant, the judge was already meandering away to another table.

Muraki gave Tatsumi a smug look. "He seems to like my breakfast."

Tatsumi gave Muraki a superior look. "He was over mine when he complemented it." Ht reminded Muraki.

"Tatsumi!" Both men turned at the sound of Tsuzuki's voice. "Good job." Tsuzuki, (having temporarily forgotten about Muraki) smiled at Tatsumi. "I'll see you later then." He waved, going towards Watari.

"Wait!" Tatsumi called out. "Are you not leaving with me?"

Tsuzuki had the look of a fugitive. He hoped that he masked it quickly enough so Tatsumi didn't see, but he wasn't sure. "I was hoping to do something I've always wanted to do," He giggled nervously.

"Oh?" Tatsumi asked darkly. "If you are planning on getting drunk-"

"No, it's not that!" Tsuzuki reassured him a bit too quickly. "It's just . . ." Tatsumi nodded encouragingly while Muraki (forgotten by both men) eavesdropped in on their conversation. "I've always wanted to . . ." Tsuzuki paused and took a deep breath. "Hit on hot chicks!" The expression of disbelief on Tatsumi's face was eerily reflected on Muraki's. 

"Excuse me?" Muraki got his voice first. Tsuzuki jumped at the sound of his voice as if just realizing the doctor was there.

"You intend to pursue women?" Tatsumi asked incredulously. Tsuzuki backing away from the two men, nodded emphatically. 

"With Watari!" Tsuzuki let out another nervous giggle, avoiding either man's gaze. "Well, got to go, the really hot chicks might leave," Tsuzuki twisted around and sprinted away from the two men, running to catch up with Watari. Hisoka was suspiciously nowhere to be found.

"Oh, dear," Tatsumi remarked flatly. "All this time, Tsuzuki-san was interested in . . . that explains everything." He hung his shoulders and dejectedly started to clean up his work area.

As he watched Tsuzuki hurry out the room through narrowed eyes, Muraki quickly formulated a plan.

***

Tatsumi was cooking like how he worked. With his glasses flashing in the light every few minutes, he grinned evilly as he brought his miso soup to a boil. Because Tatsumi was snapping at anything that moved (and quite a few things that didn't), besides laughing maniacally, everyone gave him a wide birth. Once, when an administrator nearly upset his broth, it took both Watari and Tsuzuki to physically restrain him from attacking the poor official.

Muraki was surprisingly quiet, and other than a somewhat worried look every time Tatsumi had an outburst, more or less ignored the shinigami.

"Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki warily crept up to the two men. "Are you feeling better? You're almost done." Tsuzuki attempted a smile, which turned to an expression of outright fear as Tatsumi turned to him. The secretary pushed up his glasses, giving Tsuzuki the same dark expression that he wore when he had tried to jump the official an hour ago.

However, before Tatsumi could answer Tsuzuki's innocent question, Muraki intervened. 

"Tsuzuki-san." Muraki nearly purred, stepping directly in Tsuzuki's line of sight. "You seem exhausted." At remembering that Muraki was there, Tsuzuki's eyes widened until they were nearly the size of Hisoka's. He whimpered, realizing too late that this foray was not one of his better ideas. Muraki stepped within reaching distance of Tsuzuki, and gently grasped his wrist. "Do you need assistance?" He asked genially.  

"T-Tatsumi . . ." Tsuzuki whimpered.

"Tsuzuki-san, that person is not important at this time." Muraki frowned before leaning forward slightly, stroking Tsuzuki's cheek. "Do you wish to rest?" He asked, sounding concerned. "If so, as long as you do not mind waiting for a short while, I can provide you with ample space to do so." Muraki chuckled throatily. Tsuzuki squeezed his eyes shut and shook from pure dread.

"Sensei!" Tatsumi's voice broke the moment. "Please pay closer attention to your preparations. Your noodles are starting to dissolve in their solution."

Muraki tore his gaze away from Tsuzuki to his dinner. Seeing that, surprisingly enough, the secretary was not lying, he reluctantly moved away from Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki sighed from relief. "Sankyu, Tatsumi." He smiled at the other gratefully. Reluctantly Tatsumi returned the smile with a rueful one of his own. 

"You should be more careful." Tatsumi chided Tsuzuki gently. Tsuzuki glanced away and giggled nervously. "With things the way they are," Tatsumi glanced over at Muraki, who was trying to save his noodles, "You might loose something important to you."

"I suppose . . ." Tsuzuki wondered why that sounded so familiar.

Sighing in displeasure over Tsuzuki's state of dress, Tatsumi reached out to straighten Tsuzuki's collar. "Did you wake up late?" Tatsumi asked him.

"Yeah," Tsuzuki shrugged as well as he could with Tatsumi trying to tuck the ends of his collar into the right places. "You didn't wake me up this morning." He accused.

"I was hoping to let you get some more sleep." Tatsumi frowned at Tsuzuki's collar as if he was daring it to move. "It has been a while since your last real vacation, and you seemed a bit tired last night when you came home at midnight."

"I wonder how that could have happened . . ." Tsuzuki had the look of the hunted again for just an instant. At Tatsumi's curious look, Tsuzuki hurriedly ran a hand through his hair and looked at the wall just behind Tatsumi's collar. (Eye-level)

Shaking his head, Tatsumi started to redo Tsuzuki's tie. "Did you rush out of bed just to watch the contest?" Tatsumi asked, tugging the tie.

"Yes," Tsuzuki choked out. Much to Tatsumi's displeasure, he reached up and yanked the tie down, back to the original position. "I wouldn't miss this for the world." Tsuzuki rethought that for a moment. "Well . . . if there had been a bakery on the way here, I might have been late . . ."

Pulling up Tsuzuki's wrist so he could button the cuffs, Tatsumi chuckled slightly. "Please do not worry; I would understand if you were late. Besides, the beginning is probably boring to one who is not a contestant." As Tatsumi went to work on the next cuff, Tsuzuki managed a shrug. "What do you intend to do tonight?" Tatsumi asked conversationally.

"Um, same as last night, I guess." Tsuzuki shrugged again. 

Tatsumi sighed dejectedly. "I see."

"Really?" Tsuzuki asked worriedly. If Tatsumi figured out what he had been doing last night . . . wouldn't he be angry?

"It is your life style. Though I do not believe it to be healthy for you, it is not my place to stand in your way." Tatsumi tugged experimentally on Tsuzuki's cuff.

"You mean . . . you don't mind at all?" Tsuzuki asked, surprised.

Tatsumi gave him a sad smile, noting his head. "If it makes you happy, I will support you in anything you wish to do."

"Really?" Tsuzuki asked happily. Tatsumi nodded again. "Sankyu Tatsumi!" 

Tatsumi forced a cheerful smile. "What ever you wish for, Tsuzuki-san."

***

After the second day ended, Muraki glanced around warily. Tatsumi had left a few minutes early, so the first part of his plan should go uninterrupted. Spying Tsuzuki heading for the exit, Muraki quickly moved so he could physically block Tsuzuki's path.

"Tsuzuki-san, did you enjoy yourself today?" Muraki asked, slowly backing Tsuzuki away from the door. 

Tsuzuki whimpered and tried to run around the taller man. Muraki countered his moves, still backing him up. After a minute of trying to dodge Muraki, Tsuzuki finally gave on reaching the doors Watari had just left, and focused his attention on Muraki.

Muraki smiled at him. "Please accompany me for a little bit." Muraki held out his hand. "I wish to show you something."

Tsuzuki went pale. "What?!"

Muraki gave him a smile that was more tooth than an actual grin. "Come with me, and you will find out."

Tsuzuki twitched, and turned around to run away. However Muraki grasped his wrist at the last instant and nearly dislocated his shoulder.

Before he could force his mouth to work in a scream, he was being yanked out the building to the parking lot. Just as he was about to call out for help, he found himself stuffed in the back seat of a car. Because he was too busy trying to work the child safety lock, and banging on the tinted windows, he didn't actually get a good look at his surroundings. Just as he was about to summon Souryu the car door was opened from the outside, and he tumbled out on the pavement.

He pushed him self up, ignoring the hand Muraki held out, and stood warily on the sidewalk.

"Where the-" Tsuzuki started, but cut himself off when Muraki gestured at a sign. Then he silently led the way towards the entrance to the hospital. Wondering why Muraki had just brought them there, Tsuzuki ran to catch up to the silent doctor. 

After following Muraki through a maze of hallways, Tsuzuki abruptly found himself in the Maternity Ward.

"What's going on?" Tsuzuki whined. Muraki turned and gestured for him to stand next to a window.

"Do you see that, Tsuzuki-san?" Muraki asked, sliding a hand up to Tsuzuki's upper back. 

Before them there was a woman giving birth. Tsuzuki glanced around. "Should we be watching this?" He asked nervously. 

"Please watch this, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki requested. "With most intimate relationships with women, men feel the need to procreate. This is the result of such an experience." Muraki turned slightly to watch Tsuzuki's reaction. He watched the woman with an expression of pain on his face.

"Some women can be in labor for over a full day. What pain they must feel." He commented. "And if you are the father of such a child, you will be expected to accompany the woman. Please follow me." Muraki abruptly turned and walked away.

"But-" When Muraki didn't slow, Tsuzuki hurried after him. "Why are you showing-?"

Muraki stopped abruptly, forcing Tsuzuki to dodge to the side to avoid running into him. "Do you see this, Tsuzuki-san?"

A nurse was changing dippers. Tsuzuki whimpered again. Muraki turned to slowly entwine his fingers into Tsuzuki's bangs. "Even after the birth, as a father, you would have more duties. Changing soiled clothing is simply the beginning." Muraki then gently pulled Tsuzuki away. 

When they reached a cafeteria like setting, Muraki motioned for Tsuzuki to sit. "As you can see, there are plenty complications to striking up relationships with women. Every time you and a woman join intimately, you would risk impregnating her. However, men together are different." Tsuzuki was still blinking, seemingly oblivious to Muraki. 

Muraki smiled gently, tracing his fingers across Tsuzuki's wrist. "Do you not feel more comfortable near men?" He asked gently. "Perhaps that would be better for you. It may be different for other men, but with you and your line of work, it would be nearly impossible to care for a family." Muraki sighed gently, brushing Tsuzuki's hair out of his face. "Shall we leave?" Tsuzuki shot up, nodding emphatically. Muraki smiled benignly and led the way out of the hospital.

***

They were in front of a big building. Tsuzuki looked at Muraki quizzically. "Where are we?" He asked.

Muraki smiled back gently. "Please follow me." Before Tsuzuki could respond, Muraki was already disappearing through the doors. Tsuzuki followed him, and stopped.

The building was a lecture hall, filled with women, making Muraki and Tsuzuki the only people with a Y-chromosome in the room. On top of a podium a woman was standing, giving a lecture that included shady looking men on a projector screen.

"Where are we?" Tsuzuki whispered loudly into Muraki's ear. Suddenly the back row of women turned to shush him.

Muraki held up a finger to his lips and then pressed it to Tsuzuki's. He smiled and turned back towards the speaker.

"…and as you can see, these men wearing trench coats are quite dangerous." The speaker concluded. Several women looked back and gave the two men a suspicious look. Tsuzuki glanced down, happy that Tatsumi was still working on sewing his coat back together.

"And now, let's move on to the 'pretty' boys." The speaker continued, ignoring the two men. "You see a pretty face," The whole back row of women began glaring at Tsuzuki, who shrunk towards the door under their scrutiny. "You fall in love. Things are all going well, but then what happens?" The speaker by then had noticed the two men, glared at them.

Tsuzuki stepped back towards the door, only to be halted by Muraki.

"Tsuzuki-san." Muraki gripped his arm almost painfully. "I would have thought you would enjoy listening to a lecture from married women." He murmured.

"Get me out of here!" Tsuzuki begged. The women shushed him.

"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki smiled darkly. "I was hoping to stay here to ease my suffering of eating alone tomorrow."

"How does this 'ease your suffering'?" Tsuzuki growled back a bit too loudly. The speaker stopped talking, watching the two men.

Muraki's smile never wavered. "Tomorrow when I eat alone, I can reminisce about today with you." He pointed out.

Tsuzuki's eye twitched as he realized what the doctor was getting at. He glanced at the women, who watching them impatiently gave him the courage (or cowardice) to voice his next question. "And what would happen if tomorrow I would join you?"

Muraki beamed happily at him. "Why then, I would enjoy eating dinner with you." 

Tsuzuki started backing out of the room again. "Well, then, can we leave?" He begged.

Muraki smiled and nodded. "Shall we go?" Tsuzuki nodded emphatically as the doctor led the two of them out of the building.

***

"Good morning, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki greeted him the next day. Tsuzuki glared at Muraki. By the time the doctor had dropped him off near Tatsumi's home, it had been dark, and all the bars had been closed. The fact he hadn't had alcohol in over twenty-four hours grated on his nerves. 

"Oh dear," Muraki said when he got a good look at Tsuzuki. "You look like you are suffering this morning. Perhaps I could assist you."

"No." Tsuzuki replied darkly. "No, you won't." He growled. Muraki smiled benignly and shrugged helplessly.

"As you will have it, Tsuzuki-san." He replied. "However, may I say that it is heartening seeing that you managed to arrive here before the contest started?"

"Uh . . ." Tsuzuki glanced around for Tatsumi. The secretary was not at the auditorium yet, leaving him a lone with Muraki.

"You do remember our engagement tonight?" Muraki asked conversationally as he rearranged his supplies.

"Engagement?" Tsuzuki yelled in outraged shock. The few contestants who were there that early decided to give him a wide berth.

"Our dinner engagement to which you agreed to accompany me." Muraki reminded Tsuzuki gently, idly toying with a spoon he had just placed on the table.

"Oh yeah," Tsuzuki quickly blocked the images of the lecture "Well . . . do we have to?" He whined.

"Tsuzuki-san, will you back out of a promise simply because events do not go to your preference?" Muraki asked in the same tone Tatsumi used when angry. "I truly had not expected this of you."

Tsuzuki gritted his teeth. "Okay, okay. Dinner it is." He watched Muraki suspiciously through his eyelashes. "What is dinner?" He asked warily.

"I was hoping we could eat the food I will cook for the contest." Muraki replied. "I do hope you will like it." Tsuzuki managed a grunt of acknowledgement.

"Tsuzuki-san." Tatsumi said cheerfully from just behind Tsuzuki's right side. Ignoring Tsuzuki jumping and clutching at his heart, Tatsumi had already turned to the doctor. "Muraki-san," Tatsumi growled. "Are you continuing to harass my co-worker?

"Tatsumi-san." Muraki greeted quietly. "Please do not worry. For now Tsuzuki-san is quite safe, and does not require your . . . protection." Tatsumi glared at Muraki's knowing look.

"Um, I'll just be leaving now . . ." Tsuzuki was carefully backing up. As the two men turned to watch him, Tsuzuki quickly whipped around, stumbled over another workbench while running back to the bleachers.

"And now you scare him away." Muraki remarked quietly.

"It is not me whom Tsuzuki-san fears." Tatsumi pointed out no louder than Muraki had.

***

"I suppose you will be home late again?" Tatsumi asked. Tsuzuki nodded sadly, trying not to think about what would be happening soon. "Very well, I suppose I shall not leave you dinner?" Tatsumi asked. Tsuzuki, certain that he would not be in the mood for eating when he finally got home, shook his head. "I suppose I will head home now. Please enjoy yourself tonight." Tsuzuki nodded sickly as Tatsumi left.

Tsuzuki waited, and just as he was going to give up on Muraki ever reappearing, cool hands gently grasped his shoulders. Hair that did not belong to him tickled his cheek as it slid past, and warm breath enveloped his ear. "Thank you for waiting." Muraki's lips brushed against Tsuzuki's ear as he spoke.

Tsuzuki tilted his head away from the doctor, wishing Tatsumi could deal with this for him. Muraki chuckled so softly that Tsuzuki probably wouldn't have heard it if Muraki hadn't been breathing into his ear.

"Did you notice what I made?" Muraki asked quietly. Tsuzuki, his head still cranked at an angle, shook his head warily. "I hope you will still enjoy it," Muraki continued. "I had you in mind when I thought of the recipe." A gentle tug and Tsuzuki was warily following Muraki out of the auditorium.

"Do you mind eating out side?" Muraki asked. "I took the liberty of reserving a table so you could enjoy the sunset." Tsuzuki grunted in a tone that could go either way. Right then, all he wanted to do was eat and run.

Unfortunately the table Muraki had reserved was on the opposite side of the building. By the time they got there, Tsuzuki's feet hurt, and he felt as if he was going to fall asleep standing. However, his stomach growled at him warningly that if he passed up food, he would pay for it.

The balcony they were on overlooked a local park, and Tsuzuki was positioned so he could see random pedestrians moving around the park. The entrance to the balcony was positioned behind him, giving Muraki a good look at the tall glass windows and the ornate door. 

The table had an organic look to it, as if there were rose vines growing up it to flatten out into the surface. The chair Tsuzuki sat in was comfortable, but he refused to relax. Tsuzuki glared across the table at Muraki, who was arranging the meal to a perfection that only Tatsumi could rival. 

"Do you mind only eating the main course?" Muraki asked Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki blinked at him confusedly, shrugging indifferently. "Good." Muraki set the meal on top of the table, directly in front of Tsuzuki's line of sight. Seeing Tsuzuki's wide-eyed look, Muraki frowned worriedly. "Do you not like crab?" Muraki asked.

Tsuzuki shook himself. "Crab?" He asked excitedly, not waiting for Muraki's nod. "You made crab?" His eyes shone as he took in the meal before him.

"Do you not like crab?" Muraki asked again.

"Oh, no, I like it a lot. It's just that I'm eating with you." Tsuzuki's mouth watered as he took in the delicious salty aroma.

Muraki frowned at Tsuzuki, before taking a seat across the table. "I'm glad that you at least like the meal." Muraki finally spoke. Tsuzuki, who was trying to work the meat out of the shell, nodded happily.

After spending several minutes watching Tsuzuki eat without abandon, Muraki started getting bored. Oh, watching Tsuzuki stuff his face was an interesting learning and all, (his many medical text books said that no one should be able to swallow that much whole) but he had been expecting more from the dinner together than simply eating. 

Muraki pressed his lips together as he absently toyed with the rim of his teacup. If Tsuzuki had not told him about his newfound preferences, Muraki would have already been flirting with the purple-eyed shinigami long before they reached the balcony.

And then, something was wrong. Tsuzuki never seemed to be attracted to women before. Then again, as he had not shown a preference for either gender, the discovery was not as surprising as it would have been.

"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki's voice halted Tsuzuki while he was halfway shoveling food into his mouth. "May I ask you a question?"

"Like what?" Tsuzuki asked around a mouthful.

Muraki thought for a moment as if searching for the right words. "Since when have you . . . had a preference for women?" He asked after a long wait.

Tsuzuki choked down his mouthful. "What do you mean?" Tsuzuki asked, helping himself to another crab.

Muraki narrowed his eyes at Tsuzuki. "Before, from all the situations you are in, I would have assumed you preferred the company of men."

Tsuzuki shrugged. "Doesn't every guy?" He asked. "I keep on hearing stuff from other guys on how lucky I am to be around lots of guys like . . . Watari and . . . okay just Watari."

Muraki massaged the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "What group of people do you associate with whom tell you this?" Muraki asked warily. 

"Just some people from outside the office that are part of the company." Tsuzuki thought for a moment. "Yeah, just those people. The others don't really care, so," Tsuzuki shrugged. "Why?"

"It is just that I . . . never mind." Muraki absently started to clean his glasses. "Shall we discuss another topic?" He asked.

Tsuzuki's suspicions suddenly came back in a rush. "Like what?" He asked, giving Muraki a wary look through his bangs.

"Have you been enjoying the past few days?" Muraki asked innocently. Tsuzuki blinked the dying rays of light glinting off his eyes. 

"I've got nothing to complain about." He replied warily, not knowing what Muraki could be getting at.

"That is good." Muraki gave him a tired smile, which lessened the shadows under his brow, making him seem younger. "What do you wish to see done for the last day?" Muraki asked.

Tsuzuki gave him one last suspicious look before launching into thought. "Well, chocolate . . . oh!" Tsuzuki smiled at the mental image. "Some one always makes an apple pie!" Forgetting for a moment that Muraki was sitting across from him, Tsuzuki beamed at the imagined smell of a mouth-watering slice of Apple Pie. "Last time someone did it with whipped cream, chocolate shavings, strawberries . . ." Tsuzuki shook himself out of the wonderland he had created.

"That sounds very . . . nice." Muraki remarked sickly, envisioning the sugary mass that one would have to stomach to get close to Tsuzuki.

"Since when could you cook?" Tsuzuki suddenly asked around a mouth full. He gave Muraki's surprised look a dark look of suspicion.

"I learned these skills from our family chef a long time ago." Muraki replied evenly. Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow, to which Muraki nodded. "My experience has taught me that having skills in more than one area is a desired trait in one such as my self."

"Why?" Tsuzuki asked confusedly. 

Muraki smiled darkly at Tsuzuki. "Do you not appreciate one who can cook?" Muraki asked, nudging Tsuzuki's food suggestively. "Besides, our chef would not voluntarily add poison to the meal."

"What!" Suddenly Tsuzuki didn't know which thing to pay attention to.

Muraki calmly sipped his tea, one hand going under the table to rest on Tsuzuki's thigh. "I was raised with the ideals that one could not be too careful." The fingers resting on Tsuzuki's thigh idly traced his kneecap. "As I have demonstrated in the past, I can withstand most common types of poison."

Tsuzuki weakly pushed the hand off his kneed, feeling sick. 

Muraki smiled at him, and brought his errant hand above the table surface. "Is everything alright, Tsuzuki-san?" He asked, reaching down to run a finger over Tsuzuki's wrist.

Tsuzuki whimpered.

***

When he woke up, he decided it was better keeping his eyes closed. The fuzzy feeling that seemed to penetrate him from all sides was as warm as the sun on his face. This time, his head was actually on his pillow, which, he discovered, was quite soft and comfortable. Sighing contentedly, Tsuzuki started to roll over.

Wait a minute; something was not right.

Tsuzuki furrowed his brow, and tried to roll over again. He made it halfway between his back and side before once again collapsing on his back.

He knew he should call out for Tatsumi for help. But when Tsuzuki opened his mouth, the quilt pressed between his lips, blocking most of his air intake. When he tried to scream, the only sound he could make was a strange 'mmpf'.

Tsuzuki twisted around, struggling to free himself from the confines of his futon. He soon found that when he twisted his head to an anatomically impossible angle, he could breathe freely.

"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki called out, still struggling. "Tatsumi, help me!" His voice echoed through out the empty house. There, one shoulder was free. "Tatsumi, I'm not joking this time!" Tsuzuki promised.

The silence of the house pressed down around him like a weight.

"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki's voice cracked as he screamed even louder, his hand nearly ripping open the futon as it managed to free itself. Quickly, he managed to untangle the top sheet, freeing most of his upper body. "Tatsumi~i!"

By now Tatsumi should have been there to help him, or at least gag him from screaming any more. So, Tsuzuki concluded that Tatsumi wasn't in the house. But as it was the last day of the contest, he didn't know where Tatsumi could be.

Tsuzuki struggled to free his legs from the confines of his futon before collapsing from pure exhaustion over Tatsumi's neat, orderly bed. It was so comfortable that Tsuzuki probably would have fallen asleep like that if there hadn't been something hard and blocky under his head.

Reluctantly Tsuzuki lifted his head and stared at the hard object that was interrupting his sleep. Sighing, he pressed his face into Tatsumi's futon. Of course, it would have been Tatsumi's clock that wouldn't let him sleep.

Wait a minute . . .

Tsuzuki lifted his head and scrutinized the time again. Then his eyes grew wide and he jumped up, struggling free of the last of his futon. His favorite day of the contest was almost over!

***

Watari caught Tsuzuki as he tripped in the door way and almost fell on his face.

"Are you okay?" Watari asked worriedly. Tsuzuki, who was gasping for breath after sprinting for a couple of miles, barely managed a nod.

Watari frowned, unconvinced. Suddenly, he brightened up. "Don't worry! We'll just go to another bar and you'll feel better!"

"B-but the contest . . ." Tsuzuki whined. Watari gave him a surprised look.

"The contest ended a couple of minutes ago." Watari told him. "Most of the contestants have already left."

Tsuzuki had a look of horror about him as he gazed at Watari in disbelief. "No, it can't be! I know I got up late, but . . . I couldn't have missed it-"

"Tsuzuki-san, you managed to arrive." Tatsumi noted, walking towards the two men. "I was worried when I could not see you at the beginning of the contest."

"Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki accused, giving Tatsumi a puppy look. "You didn't wake me up."

"As you arrived home late last night, I felt it wise to give you ample opportunity to sleep." Tatsumi replied evenly. "Please wait with me as the awards are being announced. As I do not know how well I have scored the past four days, I would like to find out how well I managed to do."

Tsuzuki opened his mouth to sullenly agree to Tatsumi's request, when suddenly a cool hand slid across his cheek. "Tsuzuki-san, I am happy to see you here today." Muraki breathed into his ear.

"Muraki-san!" Tatsumi snarled, quickly pulling Tsuzuki away from the doctor. "Please restrain yourself, doctor." Muraki only sneered back at him dangerously.

"Tsuzuki-san," Muraki grinned evilly, still locked in a glaring match with Tatsumi. "I made you apple pie."

Tsuzuki was about to back away with Watari when he stopped. "Apple pie? Really? Where?" He asked excitedly, forgetting about Muraki.

Muraki grinned triumphantly at Tatsumi's outraged expression. "Right this way." Muraki abruptly broke off eye contact with Tatsumi and led the way to their workspace.

On it was the most warm, deliciously mouthwatering apple pie ever to grace Tsuzuki's presence. Tsuzuki didn't bother to wipe the drool off his chin.

"Tsuzuki-san," Tatsumi grabbed something from his section of the worktable. "Here, I made you your favorite type of candy." Tsuzuki looked, and saw that it was true. Wiping the spittle off his chin, he stepped towards Tatsumi.

Muraki inhaled the aroma coming off his apple pie and made a pleased sound. Tsuzuki, hearing that, started back towards the apple pie.

"I made these with the fruity filling you liked." Tatsumi promised fervently. Tsuzuki started back towards him.

"Who cares about this?" Watari exclaimed. He grasped the back of Tsuzuki's shirt. "Here, let's go to that one bar that we went to yesterday."

"What?" Muraki gave the interloper a strange look. He hadn't really noticed the blonde shinigami before now.

"Bar?" Tatsumi asked in a dangerous tone. Tsuzuki looked up confusedly. 

Watari was downright quivering. "Er . . . yeah . . . lots of chicks seem to like it . . ." He laughed weakly.

"All this time, you and Watari-san were at a bar?" Tatsumi asked Tsuzuki.

"Well, yeah," Tsuzuki scratched the back of his head.

"You know, you could just ask me-"

"You told me you were trying to seduce women, when you were actually going out to bars?" Tatsumi growled.

"But you said that my lifestyle was okay!" Tsuzuki said emphatically. Then he paused. "I said I was going to seduce women?"

"Yes." Muraki said from Tsuzuki's other side. "Though you used more crude language, the meaning was quite clear."

Tsuzuki flinched back from Muraki. When he realized that he had gone towards Tatsumi, who was shaking from repressed rage, he jerked back. Watari, against his back, more or less vibrated against him. Tsuzuki whimpered pitifully.

"Um, I don't remember saying that, but okay . . ." Tsuzuki giggled nervously. "Well, there's nothing wrong with that, and you two didn't help me by saying you thought I was after chicks."

"Why did you think I brought you to those places?" Muraki asked looking over Tsuzuki like one would a piece of sizzling steak.

"Not only did you go to bars (which I expressly had requested you not to) you went with Muraki?" The light glinting off of Tatsumi's glasses flashed dazzlingly.

"Um . . ." Tsuzuki looked around for a savior.

"Congratulations!" The four turned to see a judge standing behind them. "You two managed to get into the top three!" He exclaimed.

"We did?" Tatsumi asked, all anger gone.

"Yes." The judge fished around for an envelope.

"If I may ask, what place did the two of us receive?" Muraki fingered Tsuzuki's already loose tie.

"You both tied!" The judge replied happily, handing them their envelopes. The two men first stared at the judge in shock, and then glared at each other.

Tatsumi wasted no time into opening his envelope. "I received . . . second place?" Tatsumi blinked at his certificate. "And my prize is a free meal for two at this restaurant . . .?" He sighed dejectedly. "I lost to _him." He glared at Muraki._

Muraki smirked back and opened his envelope. "I also received second place." Muraki frowned at his certificate.

"Well, I just said you both tied." The judge replied, exasperated.

"If I may ask," Muraki began. "Who won this contest?"

"Oh?" The judge flipped through his files. "A . . . Wakaba Kannuki." He replied.

"Wakaba-san?" Tatsumi adjusted his glasses, and looked across the room where Wakaba and Terazuma were eating cake. "I did not expect this." He sighed, and then turned back to Tsuzuki. "Shall we . . ." He began.

The area where Tsuzuki and Watari once were was now empty.

***

Tatsumi says:

Before us stands Tatsumi. He is in what appears to be a well-kept office. He leans forward to give the camera a penetrating glare.

"The lesson for today is," He leans back in his chair so that he is sitting up straight. "Do not attempt to bribe a person." He smiles evilly. "Throughout this story, Muraki tried to expose Tsuzuki to the worst situations he could find that involved other people. After this, he took Tsuzuki out to dinner, attempting to expose the best situation, that is, with him."

For a moment, Tatsumi goes into 'scary face' mode, but he quickly comes out of it. "As you can see, this did not work." (Maybe it had something to do with the fact Tsuzuki had lied to them . . .) "As you might be able to tell, I am strongly against bribery." (Wait a minute here . . .)

Tsuzuki comes in. "Hey, Tatsumi, I put in the paper work for my vacation, but you still gave me an assignment!" He complains.

Tatsumi turns to him, smiling innocently. As Tatsumi and innocent don't really go all that well together, it looks more like he's planning on eating Tsuzuki. "Tsuzuki-san, I do apologize for this inconvenience, please let me fix this now." Tatsumi starts digging through his paper work. "It is a shame though, I had hopped you would accompany us on the company vacation this year."

Tsuzuki blinks worriedly. "Huh? But I am going on the company vacation. I just have this saved up, and I want to spend it before the year is over. It's been a while since I've gone to the Gensoukai." He says worriedly.

"And after you come back from your vacation, you will have to do this assignment then, and miss out on the company vacation." Tatsumi replies gently. As Tsuzuki's eyes get wider, Tatsumi shakes his pen. "I apologize, but my pen does not seem to be working. Might I borrow one from you?" Tatsumi asks sweetly.

By now Tsuzuki has gone 'sheet white'. "Oh, no, that's okay. I'll just start on this assignment now . . ."

"Are you certain?" Tatsumi asks gently. "It would be quite simple to delay your-"

"No, no, I'm quite sure, thanks!" Tsuzuki smiles and waves good-bye before he runs out the door.

Tatsumi smiles and with his 'not-working' pen, jots down a few notes. "Yes, I do not believe in bribery at all." He assures the camera. "However black mail, though illegal, is quite a good source of funds." He smiles, and the camera is turned off.

(Wait, no Touda?)

-Akira

Author's notes: Well, it's interesting what can come out of your head when you're studying for finals and listening to the theme to Funny Farm.

Please send all 'tips' to 

Tatsumi Seiichirou

ShoKan Office #2

Juuoucho Enmacho 66666

Meifu

End of Part 4


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